Some great lines "seeded fruit and rotten core"

"the sorrow of an uncaged regret" good line. But to spring aloft on the wings of others with uncaged regrets seems counter to your theme, though quite poetic.

I still don't understand the "And" part. I love the title, but the connection is lacking.

"Their life’s the war’s ; sometimes their death is, too!" Yeah, that kind of follows logically, doesn't it? The rest is decent. Live from the desert. Over and out.

skies, not skys.

Good luck to you. Personally, I imagine God being thoroughly Old Testament and all of us getting the fiery poker in the rump.

FIXED !

Not terrible but the grammtical and spelling mistakes are very noticeable. If you're going to write a poem in honor of your friend, you should at least take the ime to proofread it.

Cad, this passage is strikung: Framed in televisions this masterpiece comes alive as a soup of limbs stirred by microphones. this piece definitely expresses the sentiment of the meoment.

this has a nice bounce to it until the last stanza. why did you break it?

If you refer to the London attacks, there's no need to tell the world; they know. If you mean that the world reacts too slowly, then I say we react fast enough, just with impotence.

not one of these lines produces any pictures or feelings in me. Mostly, I'm just confused. for instance: what does hiding have to do with wilting?

ok

paralax stutters a beautiful disguise interaction is a pendulum These are the good lines in my opinion.

Autumn by definition is a time.

Should end with "Lock up everything that is real" A lot of repeated ideas, but the theme is good.

Good except for "twisted game of evolution."

I'd like to see more than just a description of autumn.

the title seems to imply it's about someone persuading another into having sex. it's ok.... but a little mechanical. it needs more emotion. just my opinion.

"Here's a naked-necked girl laughing in a square, thumbnail sawing an orange-skin. How grey and soft-bodied, these! " Vivid image. I can smell the tang.