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Crying Tears with No Home (Free verse) by TLRufener
In memory of Lance 1986 – 2005 Alone again crying tears with no home For someone who has their life cut short. None did wrong or made mistakes, It was just their time to move on. I have yet again to wonder why they leave so soon, When it seems that their lives just got going. Dying with so much time left, So much knowledge to share with the world, So much love to confess And so many experiences never known. Never getting to see the world They had planned so many times to explore, Never going to college and earning that degree, Or meeting the love of their life. Struck down in their prime without a second glance, So many thoughts yearning to be shared. Alone again wishing for Another chance to see that smiling face, To see those sparkling eyes; Eyes that now are forever closed. Crying tears with no home For a young soul ripped from the physical world. A young soul that never made it to the ends of the Earth To fulfill its life-long dream.

Up the ladder: The Butterfly
Down the ladder: Tribute

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Arithmetic Mean: 1.5
Weighted score: 4.8340096
Overall Rank: 10745
Posted: June 29, 2005 9:09 PM PDT; Last modified: July 7, 2005 10:01 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] zodiac @ 194.165.157.165 | 30-Jun-05/3:42 AM | Reply
"For someone who has cut his life short."
"It was just his time to move on."
"When it seems that his life just got going."
"He had planned so many times to explore,"
"Or meeting the love of his life."
"Struck down in his prime without a second glance,"
"To fulfill its lifelong dream."
[n/a] TLRufener @ 66.188.122.190 > zodiac | 30-Jun-05/7:10 AM | Reply
Nice idea, but it makes it sound like he killed himself. He died in a car accident.

I also want it a bit vague.
[n/a] sk8rs_rule_all @ 24.160.154.168 > TLRufener | 30-Jun-05/8:02 AM | Reply
Yes, my friend also died in a car accident 3 weeks ago. :-| I feel your pain.
[8] zodiac @ 212.38.134.51 > TLRufener | 3-Jul-05/6:37 AM | Reply
That's not the point. The point is it's grammatically incorrect the way you have it.
[n/a] TLRufener @ 66.188.122.190 > zodiac | 3-Jul-05/8:30 AM | Reply
I never said that I was going to be grammatically correct. Honestly, I know when something is wrong, but I like the 'built-in' mistakes. They show more unbridled emotion.
[3] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.130.57.58 | 4-Jul-05/1:06 AM | Reply
I don't want to comment on the serious topic here.
just that I didn't like the poem. the sentiment is understandable though.
[6] Bluemonkey @ 170.141.68.99 | 7-Jul-05/9:30 AM | Reply
Not terrible but the grammtical and spelling mistakes are very noticeable. If you're going to write a poem in honor of your friend, you should at least take the ime to proofread it.
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