Great poem.

Fix line 2 and this is a 10.

Actually, I think this isn't bad. Don't like the last line, but whatever.

Lose everything but this: Mother Earth Has gone to sleep. Lamenting, the wind Wails and weeps.

bleeech.

Not big on Leprechauns and Pixies.

Ahh, drugs. super. Ever seen a crack baby? ghastly.

no

mnnnmmnnnhhhnnnnuuuuuuuuugg

"plying a fiddle." Interesting poem.

All the words melt together in an unappealing stew of a novice Witch’s brew.

Your poem leaves me with the sense that Mother Earth has no love for winter and that in fact she’s dead throughout the entire season. Is that what you intended?

This poem could be great. I found it too simple. Perhaps if you gave us more a sense of its Magic. How does this place feel? We know the wind is always calm but how does it look? How does it smell? How is it lit? What time of day are we seeing it, In moonlight, starlight, sunshine? The descriptions are flat and matter of fact and because of this, the poem loses its Magic. I’d love to see this reworked. Paint it more vivid. Take us somewhere enchanted!

Change the title to “Death Dance” and change the last word to dip.

Wow, this is brilliant! "Ali-Baba-like shouted commands", so spot on and yet form out of the blue. Things like that make me feel meagre and talent less. Hummm, time to read the other 93 me thinks

their life's the war's. their life "is" the War's life? is that what it means?

The poem was decent up to "final splat". If you're going to say life is decent up to the final splat, please spare all of us.

"concerns the calf / only for the fun of it," is bumpy. You don't (typically, in any English that's ever existed) concern something for something else in that sense. Unless by concerns you mean 'makes him concerned, worries', and mayhap you do. Anyway, it's kind of like saying "flapping my arms concerns me for feeling like a bird". Do you see what I'm saying? Otherwise, I enjoyed.

ultra corny

playful