Re: I Need Not be Told by Chelsio	Dovina 69.235.21.28	5-Jul-05/2:08 PM
Such a common theme in young writers, so common that to do it well in a poem may me impossible. At the least it would take a fresh approach, which this is not.
regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	5-Jul-05/5:13 PM
Ugh...sorry. The very last four lines would be a good start to something, though.
regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	5-Jul-05/5:19 PM
The therapist in me says: You are responsible for your own hapiness, and that you put the weight of your wellness on someone else would scare the average well-balanced person...smile...that said, I REALLY liked the first four lines, and then I felt a gradual let down, more and more as I read.
regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	5-Jul-05/5:27 PM
Suggestion: I would think that to put this to music, you would want the same number of syllables, or some format of rythm in the lines. Hear my PLEA...not plead. OR hear me plead....one or the other; and the end with 'complete', when you rhymed the first three? Maybe the first three could be said another way as to not rhyme? I think either follow a format, or don't...but definitely don't start, then stop, then switch types, then start again. Too sporatic. All and all...seems juvenile, in form and content and generally poorly put together.
regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	5-Jul-05/5:34 PM
WOO-HOO...my very first vote of 8! (Actually the first above middle ground!) Good form, good rythm to the words, good content, good word choice to express the emotion...awesome job! Will have to look up lugubriously...laborious word there...but hey...a little educational enrichment never hurt anyone...and it makes me think an intellegent but tormented soul wrote this...,which feeds right into the tone of this piece! Two thumbs up! ACTUALLY, think I will change my vopte to a 9...just because this is so much better than anything I have read thus far...
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.165.207.93	5-Jul-05/8:05 PM
While ordinarily, I would give this an 8, I feel that I must use your own sytem with you...to be fair and all..so I'll give it a 2.
Re: Because to Live I Must by TLRufener	wilco 24.165.207.93	5-Jul-05/8:06 PM
I think you're giving too much away here. I'd shorten it and make it more abstract.
regarding some deleted poem...	patty t 69.194.111.159	5-Jul-05/8:39 PM
Sounds like two oranges being nailed together. I'd give it an 11 if I could. Since I can't, I'll give it a 4.
regarding some deleted poem...	patty t 69.194.111.159	5-Jul-05/8:45 PM
hear the pun about the crotch? It's a real groiner.
Re: Close to my Heart by Chelsio	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.9.187	6-Jul-05/1:26 AM
I would like to encourage you to keep writing poems.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.9.187	6-Jul-05/1:33 AM
Pick Asso?
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	Caducus 172.215.111.222	6-Jul-05/3:55 AM
aint line 2 so true lol.
Re: Born and Fed by Dovina	Caducus 172.215.111.222	6-Jul-05/3:56 AM
tit in line 2 just makes it read wrong.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	6-Jul-05/7:20 AM
all the way bad. good.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:09 AM
I'm not much for puns and I have my doubts about whether you came up with these, but i'm gonna give you a 4 just for "anal flossing".
Re: Last Vein by wilco	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:09 AM
Are you actually going to play this one? or just let it sit there?
Re: Close to my Heart by Chelsio	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:12 AM
Ok, this is not great, but for 13 years old I'll say it's not bad.
Re: I Need Not be Told by Chelsio	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:13 AM
better than your other one, I'll give you that.
Re: Because to Live I Must by TLRufener	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:14 AM
A trip to Salem, you must take.
Re: Born and Fed by Dovina	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	6-Jul-05/8:17 AM
Quite frankly, it's just boring.