Hey, me too...a garden of lonely desperate souls...:) Bethy

Um, because seasons and sunrises USUALLY stay? Forgive me if I think the problem's your expectation, not the sunrise.

Where'd he go?

Also, not a haiku.

haha nice..

-extraneous- good word but it bugs me beat-wise. Something about l-3 and l-4 in the first don't jive.

Very naughty! Go straight to your room!

"virgin canvas" has no picture, yet a tale unfolds. Also, "scout" as if searching ahead for some group of people - maybe another word. A way it could have gone, and might go.

"I think you can find a less overused way of saying "there are birds as far as the eye can see" But I see the picture, and isn't that what matters?

Fired. cute.

I saw mental patients in a garden. I'm not kidding.

Good memories. I'm guessing you meant to leave out the capitalizations and normally that would annoy me, but for some reason I think it's okay here. It's funny how watching this business in New Orleans on TV is almost like a movie. You can't believe it's really happening. Funny thing is that if it were a movie, you'd be sitting there, watching it and thinking, "this shit would never happen in a million years".

naughty...I'd change huge kitchen to large kitchen for better flow.

lol thanks, everyone for your comments! really appreciate it.

if i were reneee, i would take you to bed right now, but since i am not, i just want to know what exactly it is about renee you like so much, why is she so beautiful? i like the form a bit 5

i can imagine this wall, i think i pass it often

when does he find time to get new fish? i gave an eight just because that last part didn't flow to me

What's left? Black russians, that's what. Far super over White, in every way. I've never taught a man to play darts and then have him beat his father. Maybe you need another lesson.

giggle-gasp-splat!!! I love this line...this poem made me roar with...gasp! laughter...:) Bethy

Written as if you're drunk. That's ok, just polish it some later. More poetic and all that.