Re: Is This My Country? by PodPoet	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	2-Sep-05/10:58 AM
Very good...and so tragically true! Where was the aid to evacuate them to begin with, before it hit?! They left people there, like sitting disposable ducks! And the cost in lives, time, and the all-mighty dollar would have been far less had they sent in buses to evacuate EVERYONE who was not able to afford to leave. Now look at what it has and will cost!
Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	2-Sep-05/11:06 AM
So true...and great way of saying it! ...In my life there is no such thing as 'destination'...only traveling, and pitstops and detours and sight-seeing - that way, no matter where I am, I am supposed to be there!
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.96.171.27	2-Sep-05/11:09 AM
A few too many words, otherwise good. "in" in the first line, "that is" in line 4. What does "so" add, or even mean, in the last two lines?
Re: Katrina by jessicazee	Dovina 12.96.171.27	2-Sep-05/11:14 AM
Yeah, It does look like a galaxy from space. A comma after sink would clarify. A wet what?
Re: Is This My Country? by PodPoet	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:21 AM
Although I find some of the ideas here to be without substance, you expressed your feelings in a way that's at least readable. Add punctuation throughout...especially in the 5th stanza.
Re: First Love by Dovina	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:29 AM
Short and sweet..one of your better in a while....well, that I've read...I've been gone for a minute....but I'm back now.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.96.171.27	2-Sep-05/11:29 AM
The ending doesn't work because nothing points to it or develops it. It doesn't fit.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	2-Sep-05/11:35 AM
nice
Re: Prick by Enkidu	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:35 AM
Yep, completely fell apart. The first half is not bad and the second half is awful.
Re: Stranger by MacFrantic	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:38 AM
Nice...like a demented Dr. Seuss.
Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:44 AM
I've been known to give people zeroes for crappy poems..I'm just gonna give this one a 5 though because it did actually make me chuckle a little.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:46 AM
Shorten this to maybe two stanzas and get all the information into that and it could be pretty good.
Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:51 AM
Wow, this is the first really good poem I've read on here in a while. Godd job..it's good.
Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/11:55 AM
I feel you dog, but keep working on this one.
Re: First Love by Dovina	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	2-Sep-05/12:16 PM
Deeeeeeeee! please go for the beat and not the look. ....I wasn't winter-broken, though, I thought that it would stay. I hate using extra words too but the first three lines hopscotch nicely.
Re: Baudelaire: The Albatross by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	2-Sep-05/12:22 PM
I have a chapbook of Baudelaire, Some poems from Le Fleurs Du Mal. Already translated of course. Honestly, whenever I make a comment on your poems, I feel like a dope. Completely unknowledgable. Useless. I hate that. I really do.
Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	2-Sep-05/12:27 PM
Flight 2252, 757 heavy. You are cleared for take-off runway two-seven left.
Re: How Angels Sleep by Dovina	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Sep-05/12:37 PM
Hey you've been doing well while I was away.
Re: Summer Song by wilco	unknown^user 128.196.6.126	2-Sep-05/3:04 PM
This is really good. I don't mean to make assumptions on your influences, but this does actually sound like a lot of Wilco lyrics.
regarding some deleted poem...	patty t 24.112.23.150	2-Sep-05/3:42 PM
I appreciate all the criticism and agree with most of it, from your point of view...I should have put a disclaimer that this would be best appreciated by a toronto audience. Toronto has a horrendous homelessness problem, and I wrote this thinking of my otherwise wonderful city. Perhaps this sounds like an excuse, but what the statue looks like doesn't need to be explained to a Torontonian, because we walk by 100 homeless people everytime we go downtown. the last three lines are supposed to highlight the discrepancy between what we know is right and what we do.