| Re: Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
1-Sep-05/7:16 PM |
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Good to see you're still at it! I miss god's wife. Don't you? This is really great, I love it.
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| Re: Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
1-Sep-05/7:17 PM |
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OOOOOH!!! and the sub-poem too! wow.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
1-Sep-05/7:26 PM |
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| Re: Urbane Jane by MacFrantic |
INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67 |
1-Sep-05/7:38 PM |
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| Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp |
Bethy 24.222.32.224 |
2-Sep-05/6:53 AM |
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a magician !!! or one of the three stooges, hehe haha!! good one Jon!!! :) Bethy
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| Re: Is This My Country? by PodPoet |
Bethy 24.222.32.224 |
2-Sep-05/7:00 AM |
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I loved New Orleans, I was there at last Mardi Gras...It breaks my heart to watch the helplessness, aid is on the way...God Bless :) Bethy
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| Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera |
Bethy 24.222.32.224 |
2-Sep-05/7:10 AM |
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Mary Pickford once said it wasn't the falling down, but the staying down...Bravo!excellent! :) Bethy
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bethy 24.222.32.224 |
2-Sep-05/7:15 AM |
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| Re: Stranger by MacFrantic |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
2-Sep-05/7:35 AM |
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Third stanza is a bit shaky. Otherwise good. *8*
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| Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
2-Sep-05/7:40 AM |
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Not deep enough to be a repudiation of omnipresence; just deep enough to be flooded, gutted, and razed.
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| Re: Prick by Enkidu |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
2-Sep-05/7:45 AM |
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I enjoyed it, until "Go live among your awesome aunts" took me out of the poem.
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| Re: Intrusion by Sasha |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:12 AM |
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To feel...a curse and a blessing. Do you taste your lover on the wind, feel weakened by a sickened tree, hear another's soul cry through the touch of their hand? Are you blessed and cursed with a knowing? I would have emailed you, but you do not provide that option here.
One thing about the poem...creep and creek was a little rough going. >"The former river creep as a low creek." Also...wouldn't crept be the correct word?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:17 AM |
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Strange way to end that gull poem and scene.
You used a more complete language in all but the ending. I would have put in >are mating or put>
next to my shoe...Asian beetles mating. (But, I think inserting 'are' would be the better of the two.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:23 AM |
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I like it better without the last three lines...actually, the ending stanza could be left off, and...I would have liked some reference to the statue being of a homeless man in the body of the poem; but for the title, you do not have an image in your head of what the statue is.
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| Re: Prick by Enkidu |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:27 AM |
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Yeah...this fell apart. I get what you are trying to say here...but you need to revamp it.
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| Re: Katrina by jessicazee |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
2-Sep-05/10:29 AM |
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Could be really good, but the line "The quarter is French" is quite odd. Almost as odd as the French. Perhaps that's what you meant by it...
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| Re: Stranger by MacFrantic |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:32 AM |
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This is listed under 'Free Verse', but isn't it a form? Not that I would know all the technicalities of such things...just wondering. I don't care where you put it. Oh, and...isn't he just like everyone? I think so....
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| Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:38 AM |
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Ha- HA! Excellent...One thing though.. at>
"Twirl around and fondle your sister,
And disappear before she knew what had hit her,"
...it seems a little out of rhythm right there...perhaps?> "What'd hit 'er" to speed it up some?
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| Re: Baudelaire: The Albatross by Sasha |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:49 AM |
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That is why I am a flyer of the night...the currents are not crowded then, and under the shroud of midnight-blue clouds against the blackened sky I am better felt and sensed than seen with the eye. It makes for much higher flying...besides, the breezes are so FULL then that it vibrates through you. (Lovely, lovely piece!)
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| Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey |
LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67 |
2-Sep-05/10:51 AM |
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Yeah...it needs more...far more.
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