Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

orange crumble (Free verse) by impert&ent
rough surfaces brick meets mortar brushed with moss bricks spall and crumble mortar falls away black gaps mark the separation grey orange green and black the colours of a wall

Up the ladder: Divide the Pride
Down the ladder: Heroes of the Rodeo

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
10  .. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.0596013
Overall Rank: 6743
Posted: August 25, 2005 11:57 PM PDT; Last modified: August 26, 2005 12:01 AM PDT
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

ay deee

[n/a] impert&ent @ | 25-Aug-05/11:59 PM | Reply
after tanks(4)
[4] LilMsLadyPoet @ | 26-Aug-05/4:21 PM | Reply
spall? typo? (spill, fall?) made up word? new word I have somehow managed to miss? gap in my vocabulary? What of this wall? described it, now I wonder about it...perhaps you could add to this, make it more than just a description. Does this wall match how you feel? How the area feels? Dark and crumbling? Is it decaying while everything else around it is newly built and valued? Is there a contrast you can include, to make this wall interesting? Does is separate you from something, does it line something, does it hold up something of worth, or left to decay as if it is nothing, when it is in fact something? As it stands, it just stands and does not garner much if any attention. I need more than this if I am to take notice of this wall of yours.
[n/a] ALChemy @ > LilMsLadyPoet | 27-Aug-05/7:26 AM | Reply
I looked up spall. Means chip away or crumble.
[4] LilMsLadyPoet @ > ALChemy | 27-Aug-05/6:47 PM | Reply
Ah...a new word! Alas, I was feeling lazy and did not look it up! Thank you. Spall, then means is it corrct to say, as the poem does> "bricks spall and crumble"? Would seem one and the same word. Like: bricks 'crumble' and crumble? I would think spall>chip away, is more of an action taking place, so that would not work in that context...? "Bricks 'chip away' and crumble" Would it be correct usage to say?: "Bricks spall, becoming rubble beneath the feet of passers-bye." Thanks for the info!
[n/a] impert&ent @ > LilMsLadyPoet | 28-Aug-05/3:40 AM | Reply
1. Gap in your vocabulary.
2. It's just a way of looking at a wall.
[n/a] impert&ent @ > LilMsLadyPoet | 28-Aug-05/3:52 AM | Reply
The word is typically used with reference to concrete that endures sub-zero tempratures. It can also refer to concrete floors that are disintegrating through the accumulation of lime or due to the movement of heavy loads across them. In the case of freezing, water near the surface of the concrete freezes, expands, and shatters bits of the surface.

Spalling also occurs with brick, but regardless of temperature. Bits of brick flake off, and sometimes rework an entire face. On older walls the entire surface develops a rough but pleasing character.

If you live in a freezing climate, take a close look at the surface of a concrete steps or retaining walls, particularly those with smooth-formed surfaces. Bits of edges that look like they've been knocked off are likely spalls.
[8] ay deee @ | 3-Sep-05/10:03 PM | Reply
i can imagine this wall, i think i pass it often
235 view(s)

Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001