Cold Collapse

Member since 2003 · Posted 28 Jul 2006 · 3 comments

I snap and grapple With the land animal Approaching me at degrees unknown And latitudes unknown And beneath strange letters in the sky We aren't sweet compliments Or gracious arguments or anything We're sweet disintegration Like granules in gestation And nothing more How so you in crew And what biting balance do Forever I will spend the fighter's trend A catatonic animated crater That levels several ladders Half of every day comes clear This polar pointing pier What shakes in column quake I can't compound your wake My cold collapse

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3 comments

[n/a] Dovina 29-Jul-06/3:13 PM Reply

I wish I could figure this out. It sounds like it might be interesting.

[8] ecargo 1-Aug-06/7:42 AM Reply

Cool sounds in this, Mac--"snap and graaaaple; laaand aaaanimal, you in crew/biting balance do; levels several ladders; etc. Love the long vowel sounds throughout, the casual rhyming, the wordplay. You need a little more coherence though--not necessarily a linear narrative or a story, but something strong enough to give the suggestion of (if not actual) sense/structure. Don't let the rhymes drive it too much either. Cool.

[9] ALChemy 1-Aug-06/8:15 AM Reply

I'm getting melting polar ice caps from it. Sounds really good.