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My Golden Birthday (Free verse) by jessicazee
My birthday party at Skatetown U.S.A. was rad until you got sent to the penalty box, pushing down wobbly ten-year olds in lieu of little brothers, our skate rink windowless, blaring Debbie Deb, Egyptian Lover, Petula Clark singing “Downtown, things will be great when you’re Downtown,” touching our skates with pink tipped nails, Cheet-o fingers, mental rentals vibrated on bathroom tiles while you made out with Franco Ortiz behind Centipede, or Millipede, video games in full color, roller balls spun while your big pretzel got cold in my hand, friendship pins lost rainbow seed beads. Your mom used to live across the street next to Kmart and you told everyone your real mom was in "Valley Girl", the redhead with big pink nipples, you made fun of my face in the mirror writ on with silver Outliners, my cheeks were too fat, my eyes small and retarded, my forehead just made you laugh, your mom came to get us in the Nova. I said, “Remember this morning in Science how I said, ‘We could put in each other in a trance. Tonight when you sleep over I’ll put you in a trance. Like when I did at your stepmom’s house last Friday. Do you still wanna do that?" ?

Up the ladder: Headstone
Down the ladder: Like A Rainbow

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.0596013
Overall Rank: 6745
Posted: July 20, 2005 7:44 PM PDT; Last modified: July 20, 2005 7:44 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.151.145.220 | 21-Jul-05/5:19 PM | Reply
A raw, uncompromising, indignant, vital, terrifying, brutally honest literary collage of everyday life in the urban skate scene with massively fat cheeks, sunken eyes, and an unbelievably appalling forehead. Nice one.
[10] T. Jonathron Remp @ 128.252.229.185 | 22-Jul-05/1:04 PM | Reply
I long for the days when areas of study were indivisible from their classroms, so that one could truly be "in Science."
[2] Stephen Robins @ 84.13.133.201 | 25-Jul-05/11:28 AM | Reply
A terrible ripple of bottom fat on an otherwise blemish-free nappy.
[n/a] jessicazee @ 64.12.117.5 > Stephen Robins | 28-Jul-05/1:17 AM | Reply
Stephen - Is a "nappy" a diaper for Brits? Not sure if you're tossing a riddled compliment or telling me you're disappointed?
Others -- thanks for the nice feedback.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 195.172.173.12 > jessicazee | 29-Jul-05/1:47 AM | Reply
"Nappy" is an old celtic word meaning "One who is not ashamed." I have no idea why Stephen employed it in a diaperesque context. I really like your poem by the way.
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