Really good writing. I write a fair amount on quantum physics as it is on the cutting edge of reality tho most people aren't familiar with the subject. You express yourself and your concepts quite well. Also, one of the few to put these concepts into poetic form, not an easy task when dealing with the abstract and esoteric. Keep it up. Oh yeah, a ten.

But when will your name be poet?

well, at least you have a blog! Moose.

Getting closer.

Your grasp of ebonics astounds me.

Brilliant!

They say once you go panda you might loose a handa.

Delivered a yacht huh? "Berth" was the best word in the poem. Pretty good. costs $269,000.00 Used.

You're lying not laying. I also think your lying the other way too. Why shift into rhyme half way through.

Getting better. Meter problems in stanza 2.

right on

Im going to put up a revised version... and I'm working on a second part too.

I see i will need to invest in a book of poetry references i.e. the white butterflies. Early prep for Halloween poems?

Neat poem. Some great lines buy perhaps a bit wordy in some parts as Dovina mentioned. A solid nine.

Very good. The piece reads easy and with good rhythm. It has a certain poignancy which I liked.

Forgot to mention one minor thing. "as the wolves retake the land." seems slightly out of rhythm and a possible change might be, "as wolves retake the barren land." Just a thought and the piece is great as is.

Okay. You're not rhyming. That's good. 'Bleeding a river of love' -- if it's flowing out and you're not going to love again, sure. 'Will you make my heart flutter' -- medically speaking, that's not a very good request.

If you were a bird, you'd have a brain the size of a peanut! Oh, wait, how would that chanmge you? Yawn yawn yawn. If you make it rhyme, you can send it to Hallmark.

Hmm. That's quite fine. You still need to learn about apostrophes, but I gave up on that years ago. Seriously, howe'er... The second stanza is a bit confused. The first two lines are fine. Then the third: what's was laid on the grave? The buds. Do the buds make the graves fragrant, or were they already? Was the love born on/in the graves? Not that I mind, I've nothing against necrophilia myself... 'to die in her today' ... Does that mean 'Love was born/to die in love's today' or 'Love was born/to die in [graves, autumn] on this day'? Or what? I really like the penultimate line, but the last one seems to let it down a little.

Personally, I don't like it, but I couldn't tell you why. there's nothing wrong with it; just not my style. Have a five so I don't harm its score either way.