regarding some deleted poem...	drnick 24.176.22.254	20-Sep-05/11:06 PM
This is fucking amazing...I really want to give it a 10, but I cannot give any poem a 10...that would say it is perfect, and that is most impossible. However, you kiss perfection...maybe even slip it the tounge; a very dark, vivid tounge. god damnit this is some good fucking shit...I cant fucking stop swearing its so good. I'm putting in a 9, but I want you to know it is more like 9.95. This is by far the best thing I have read on this site.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Sep-05/6:26 AM
Not a true Villanelle in that it doesn't really have the aba rhyme pattern ending with an abaa nor does it repeat the entire first and third line each alternating at the end of each stanza until the last stanza. But still it's an impressive exercise in poetic restraint.
Re: Nowhere Land by Caducus	Quarton 12.217.202.34	21-Sep-05/9:08 AM
I am a bit confused by parts of this but overall, I found myself liking it. And it is up to the reader to interpret your meaning.
Re: Light by Quarton	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	21-Sep-05/9:20 AM
I'm reading an anthology right now: Staying alive (real poems for unreal times) By Neil Astley. I remember a poem that made mention of black holes or a black hole and your poetry came to mind. I cant seem to find the poem but the whole anthology is reeeeeely good. Um, mamm-outh? and gladfly/glowfly? Planet-fly or moon-fly could be used? don't know. 8
regarding some deleted poem...	Quarton 12.217.202.34	21-Sep-05/9:36 AM
Terrific. I had to re-read and it just got better. A ten.
Re: Nowhere Land by Caducus	impert&ent 82.46.138.68	21-Sep-05/9:37 AM
There's much to like in this, but there are a couple of loose ends too. I like the imagery and the metaphors. But I don't get the "robins staff", and think the focus changes in the last line, and leaves the thing unresolved. If the staff were a coat hook, it would make sense to me, given that your coat is the rain. As for the last line, you may set spectacular, but in a solitary land of your own rather than nowhere. But why focus on yourself at the end, given that up to that point the focus is on her and the love?
Re: Light by Quarton	Dovina 24.58.115.77	21-Sep-05/1:32 PM
A good comparison.
Re: "46 million babies a year" by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Sep-05/1:46 PM
Shitty poem.
Re: Elmer's Last Try by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Sep-05/1:55 PM
You forgot to end with th-th-th-that's all folks. Sorry I tried so hard to resist it but failed.
Re: Light by Quarton	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Sep-05/2:37 PM
Like Dovina said nice metaphor. This shows the duality between human nature and science. Science has no compassion but human nature has its moments. Your still improving. Which is more than most of us can say.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Sep-05/2:46 PM
Good story.
Re: untitled Rubiyat 1 by starkfister	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Sep-05/2:50 PM
Interesting rhyme pattern.
Re: Elmer's Last Try by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67	21-Sep-05/8:04 PM
Sad. Interesting swap there. Unlike me and my heavily cliched (and sedated) poems. I think I should like to try an inversion someday. How much does the safety equipment cost? Man, the rankers dead lately!
Re: "46 million babies a year" by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	zodiac 212.38.134.51	22-Sep-05/12:19 AM
How did the Dumpling die? Did He squeeze it too hard? Did it just dry out?
Re: Elmer's Last Try by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.147.145	22-Sep-05/6:50 AM
A bedwetting can test even the most devoted parent's love.
regarding some deleted poem...	Tintagiles 198.164.251.88	22-Sep-05/8:13 AM
00769101
regarding some deleted poem...	Tintagiles 198.164.251.88	22-Sep-05/8:18 AM
01709123
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.59.205.78	22-Sep-05/2:06 PM
I like the idea, but am off-put by the grammar. A little more conventionality please.
Re: my friend beth we wear by jessicazee	Dovina 24.59.205.78	22-Sep-05/2:21 PM
In a flow of thought ramble like this, I still think punctuation is good. Or at least put each thought on a separate line.
Re: Please Stay by pletcgm	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.147.145	22-Sep-05/4:37 PM
I probed your poeme with one of these: http://www.collectorman.com/images/S608.jpg , and it told me you were missing something in your life. Something, or someone... someone close to you. -10-