The last two lines don't make up for the rest being practically not-English.

This is really pretty good. I'd start from the second stanza and tighten it up a little. For example, I was drafted and unprepared Or something such. Nice job.

Ever notice how for all your effort to acknowledge every comment on your poems with some brief bit of contentlessness, you don't seem to have actually understood anything that's been said to you during your entire time on poemranker? From the top: The way you're living, it doesn't seem, um, what's the word? Oh yeah: right, healthy, non-ridiculous. You're an adult with more education than most of the world's population even wants. You have all the opportunity in the world to have love and happiness. If you persist in this silly self-destructive mopishness, I'll have to persist in thinking it's because you want it that way, and, then, what the hell, who in her respectable mid-20s WANTS to be unhappy? I'm not the one to tell people where success is at, but I'd suggest starting with taking a break from guys for a good long time; closely examining yourself (and your poetry) for what's unhealthy and noninherent to yourself, what's cliche and affected, like cutting and mopish poetry; and doing something proactive and in-control, like joining Peace Corps or learning poker strategy. This is as genuine as I get. Get a fucking hold of yourself.

hey good poem its awsome

its a really good poem

You'll need grown-up ID to drink at this watering hole. Uh-oh , look out here come the bouncers.

hey i like ur poem

your poem is so awsome

Study meter in poetry and then edit.

I like the kinky comparisons: kawasaki green > buds, vile snapdragons, flowers of construction barrel orange. But why would you vow to be knocked cold by her? Maybe you're too into the mechanized unreality of spring.

I think you'd do better without the Jesus references - messiah and Nazareth. A naritave on sleep is ok in itself. The comparison to soul sleep is good.

Good Poem, it is awsome

I want to give this a three but for some reason I like it....

need to know last line of s4 - is it needed do you thibnk?

I love the title. I don't like the poem, but I love the title.

Hey, haven't seen you in a while dreamersupremer. On the subject of this poem..it's just too damn long and there's just not enough interesting here to necessitate it being that long (I started wishing for Cliff's Notes). It's good and I almst gave a 9 but it needs to be shortended.

Zodiac said this pretty well already, but what the hell: You've got to get a grip on your life, girl. Let's grow up here and stop falling in love with every meat headed fuck that walks by your door. Go see Dr. Phil or something (the Poemranker is cheaper therapy, but I don't think it's working). You could be a good writer, but everything you write is just third grade diary entries about why the boy next door doesn't like her. Now, sure, most songs are about love, most poems are about love, but make it interesting. It's gotten to the point where people know exactly what your poem says before they even click on it. Follow Zodiac's advice: grow up, use your education and either stop being crazy over every guy you meet or start munching box (but you'll find that women are infinitely more confusing than men could ever hope to be). P.S. - The only reason you're not good enough for whoever you keep writing about is that you act (if your poems are any indication) like you're completely batshit.

its a good poem. i like it because i can relate to it. nice job

You rhymed "way" and "day" twice in a short poem. Priceless.

awsome poem dude. you rock, see you in marine science