Re: Hell is spring by INTRANSIT	Dovina 209.247.222.94	12-Oct-05/5:41 PM
I like the kinky comparisons: kawasaki green > buds, vile snapdragons, flowers of construction barrel orange. But why would you vow to be knocked cold by her? Maybe you're too into the mechanized unreality of spring.
Re: Sleep by ALChemy	Dovina 209.247.222.94	12-Oct-05/5:45 PM
I think you'd do better without the Jesus references - messiah and Nazareth. A naritave on sleep is ok in itself. The comparison to soul sleep is good.
Re: Rocky Road by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.155	13-Oct-05/2:06 AM
The last two lines don't make up for the rest being practically not-English.
Re: monday by ay deee	zodiac 212.118.19.155	13-Oct-05/2:22 AM
This is really pretty good. I'd start from the second stanza and tighten it up a little. For example, I was drafted and unprepared Or something such. Nice job.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 212.118.19.155	13-Oct-05/3:07 AM
Ever notice how for all your effort to acknowledge every comment on your poems with some brief bit of contentlessness, you don't seem to have actually understood anything that's been said to you during your entire time on poemranker? From the top: The way you're living, it doesn't seem, um, what's the word? Oh yeah: right, healthy, non-ridiculous. You're an adult with more education than most of the world's population even wants. You have all the opportunity in the world to have love and happiness. If you persist in this silly self-destructive mopishness, I'll have to persist in thinking it's because you want it that way, and, then, what the hell, who in her respectable mid-20s WANTS to be unhappy? I'm not the one to tell people where success is at, but I'd suggest starting with taking a break from guys for a good long time; closely examining yourself (and your poetry) for what's unhealthy and noninherent to yourself, what's cliche and affected, like cutting and mopish poetry; and doing something proactive and in-control, like joining Peace Corps or learning poker strategy. This is as genuine as I get. Get a fucking hold of yourself.
Re: The End by Caducus	Caducus 172.202.128.95	13-Oct-05/9:35 AM
need to know last line of s4 - is it needed do you thibnk?
Re: untitled rhyme royal 3 by starkfister	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Oct-05/12:58 PM
I want to give this a three but for some reason I like it....
Re: Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Oct-05/1:07 PM
I love the title. I don't like the poem, but I love the title.
Re: Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis. by SupremeDreamer	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Oct-05/1:13 PM
Hey, haven't seen you in a while dreamersupremer. On the subject of this poem..it's just too damn long and there's just not enough interesting here to necessitate it being that long (I started wishing for Cliff's Notes). It's good and I almst gave a 9 but it needs to be shortended.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Oct-05/1:28 PM
Zodiac said this pretty well already, but what the hell: You've got to get a grip on your life, girl. Let's grow up here and stop falling in love with every meat headed fuck that walks by your door. Go see Dr. Phil or something (the Poemranker is cheaper therapy, but I don't think it's working). You could be a good writer, but everything you write is just third grade diary entries about why the boy next door doesn't like her. Now, sure, most songs are about love, most poems are about love, but make it interesting. It's gotten to the point where people know exactly what your poem says before they even click on it. Follow Zodiac's advice: grow up, use your education and either stop being crazy over every guy you meet or start munching box (but you'll find that women are infinitely more confusing than men could ever hope to be). P.S. - The only reason you're not good enough for whoever you keep writing about is that you act (if your poems are any indication) like you're completely batshit.
Re: Are you my love? by Prince of Void	cabot 68.8.167.40	13-Oct-05/3:46 PM
its a good poem. i like it because i can relate to it. nice job
Re: Sleep by ALChemy	cabot 68.8.167.40	13-Oct-05/3:47 PM
Good Poem, it is awsome
Re: A Harsh Break-up by BrAnDiLoVesYoU	cabot 68.8.167.40	13-Oct-05/4:21 PM
its a really good poem
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Oct-05/4:21 PM
You'll need grown-up ID to drink at this watering hole. Uh-oh , look out here come the bouncers.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Oct-05/4:25 PM
You rhymed "way" and "day" twice in a short poem. Priceless.
regarding some deleted poem...	cabot 68.8.167.40	13-Oct-05/4:26 PM
hey i like ur poem
Re: The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	cabot 68.8.167.40	13-Oct-05/4:27 PM
hey good poem its awsome
Re: Ode to the Sun by TLRufener	cabot 68.8.167.40	13-Oct-05/4:29 PM
your poem is so awsome
Re: Being The Best by cabot	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	13-Oct-05/4:30 PM
Study meter in poetry and then edit.
Re: There’s A Voice Deep Inside My Head by celticskatermatt1	cabot 68.8.167.40	13-Oct-05/4:36 PM
awsome poem dude. you rock, see you in marine science