| Re: The Prince by elderking |
zodiac 70.109.2.131 |
23-Dec-05/7:44 AM |
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Don't believe him. He's really a frog.
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| Re: disaster in the flesh by Crakyamuni |
Blindpoetry 70.172.225.193 |
23-Dec-05/9:31 AM |
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"can you not see the death below us" seemed out of place, Crack Your Money
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Sisterwolf 207.69.139.9 |
23-Dec-05/1:31 PM |
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| Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222 |
Sisterwolf 207.69.139.9 |
23-Dec-05/1:39 PM |
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Stunning work. I adore the poetic device of reverse
chronology - it gives it a stronger feeling of the death. Though it is long, it is a great read and kept my attention right through. Good job!
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| Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco |
Sisterwolf 207.69.139.9 |
23-Dec-05/1:41 PM |
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Very unique voice here. Edgy and filled with
imagery. Good stuff here.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Sisterwolf 207.69.139.9 |
23-Dec-05/1:47 PM |
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Though I found this disturbing, it is a valuable poem.
Too many people hide in darkness, doing their evil
without censure - you shone a light.
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| Re: Train of Thought by Sisterwolf |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
23-Dec-05/3:00 PM |
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Why not use periods at sentence ends? You've used commas, and I think the addition of periods would make it read smoother. Otherwise good.
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| Re: Broken Bird by Sisterwolf |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
23-Dec-05/3:07 PM |
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Somehoiw the "lovely bird" in line 5 seems inconsistent with the image built up of a put-down, tattered-wing bird with a low self image. Maybe "once-lovely." But it's a good poem, and welcome to poemranker.
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| Re: Just for Show (Suicide revised) by sliver |
some deleted user 204.97.18.79 |
23-Dec-05/5:12 PM |
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Well written--I like sound of it when read aloud.
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| Re: Train of Thought by Sisterwolf |
some deleted user 204.97.18.79 |
23-Dec-05/5:17 PM |
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I love the language in this poem and your use of alliteration. good job.
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| Re: For Gillian Park by Caducus |
BrandonW 216.78.60.189 |
24-Dec-05/8:52 AM |
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fuckin' great if you ask me!
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| Re: Train of Thought by Sisterwolf |
zodiac 70.109.2.131 |
24-Dec-05/9:44 AM |
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"in escape" in the last line could be better worded. And I agree with whoever said you should put some periods at the ends of your sentences. Possibly also break up this big block of text into couplets or tercets. (Yes, I know it's supposed to be endless as a train, but poemranker's fixed-width text makes long stretches like this look positively Everestlike.) Otherwise, this isn't bad. I wasn't blown away, but you kept me reading til the end.
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| Re: Paradise by TLRufener |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
24-Dec-05/10:38 AM |
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| Re: Privacy Compromised by Dovina |
Prince of Void 213.207.224.156 |
24-Dec-05/12:01 PM |
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my admiration to this poems slipped hints of mine
i want to depict the gothic princess as the modern poet..
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| Re: Apocalypse has come to end by Prince of Void |
zodiac 70.109.2.131 |
24-Dec-05/12:43 PM |
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I started reading this poem "Void has come to void" and replacing all nouns, verbs and adjectives with "void", and found that it was identical to all your other poems. If you have ever read a poem, I'm a cod.
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| Re: Apocalypse has come to end by Prince of Void |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
24-Dec-05/2:13 PM |
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A pretty dismal place, this void of yours.
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| Re: Old Friends by sliver |
veggiegurl 198.68.29.134 |
24-Dec-05/4:16 PM |
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ehhh its alright I give it a five :)
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| Re: Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone |
veggiegurl 198.68.29.134 |
24-Dec-05/4:27 PM |
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I think this is a very funny poem but not very tasteful at all still funny
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
veggiegurl 198.68.29.134 |
24-Dec-05/4:33 PM |
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I might be psycho
but I didn't make any typos
great poem you made
spend more time getting laid
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| Re: The Service by forestchild7 |
rahson_s 24.90.125.117 |
24-Dec-05/5:53 PM |
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