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disaster in the flesh (Free verse) by Crakyamuni
She sees the warmth drip from him low and ascending, arms pressed in how she never stays at the last juncture never a kiss goodnight Her glances search past the moment like lost moths time now a blunder in all it's glorious delusion you find her in the wake of this

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Arithmetic Mean: 9.0
Weighted score: 5.1897035
Overall Rank: 4751
Posted: December 23, 2005 5:13 AM PST; Last modified: April 18, 2009 6:49 AM PDT
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Sheeva

Comments:
[7] Blindpoetry @ 70.172.225.193 | 23-Dec-05/9:31 AM | Reply
"can you not see the death below us" seemed out of place, Crack Your Money
[9] http://mulberryfairy @ 70.16.67.83 | 5-May-09/6:46 PM | Reply
Perfect except for the "never, never" repetition, I don't think it needed the clarification about the last juncture/ kiss goodnight thing.
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