I sometimes fear this is too true, my friend.

almost titled it "a moment's whine", but that seemed too easy. Almost binned it, but that's what the ranker's for, right? ;)

I'll admit, I don't have a clue what you're doing with this. 1*?

angsty and doesn't scan well. nit: "to many just" -> "too many just" (I think?) I really like "the fetus of innocence is devoured by hypocritical jackals". I could do with that metaphor being developed further throughout. As it is, things feel scattershot. I'm not too into collage, visually or poetically.

forget about me. make your own tomorrow ;) the desire you feel is probably better in your head than on paper (or consummated in other ways).

I read that as "51 lbs" black licorice and thought you really needed to lay off the meth. The rest... hmm. Doesn't really do anything for me.

I think I need the same drugs as you to feel this right. Still, better than a lot of crap that gets nailed to the wall.

hah, that's great. well, I mean, not Great, but I like what you did, sir, I do. I like what you did with that, and did not see it coming. Half-way through I was going to comment that I've written stuff far too similar to this (as part of a longer short-story), but I like what you did. :)

*sniff* not even a slam?

"gnawed to origin and silica"? no grok. I want more punctuation (elders' wrists? or?) You've got some good stuff inter-woven, and I even see the thread--the thread seems solid; but I think you need to work on your stitching? a 7, but I think it could be a 9 or a 10.

huh? Hmm. Makes more sense when I notice the title--but I'm still lost with a plastic blue pipe.

If I was hungry to begin with, I was not by the middle of the first stanza... (and, okay, I wasn't quite hungry, but I _had_ been considering dessert). Second stanza has more promise, imo.

hmm. hmm hmm hmm. hmm. and no, that's not supposed to mean any more than it says ;)

"soothe" your emotions, unless you truly mean sooth--which would mean to imply you're prognosticating, some. tracking biorhythms? You've lost me with "diplome" though. Doesn't quite hang together. But I appreciate what you're doing. Shouldn't it be a pimple, though?

ROFL Yes. I think it needs a little smoothing, but yes, this is perfect ranker material.

has something, I like the weaving of images, and I think appropriate gravitas for the content. Just doesn't scan the way I want, and perhaps ... rough/disjoint in more than flow?

hmm, no.

huh. good stuff here. not quite picturing it all, (and what are "blue screams"?). But yeah, some good stuff here.

no.

I have a feeling our email addy's will outlive us for longer that a moment. They may outlive the heat death of the universe.