Re: Graveyard(Cry of the Dead) by alvinb	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	3-Mar-09/5:30 AM
...yeah...no... besides, why whould ghosts hang around boring old tombstone when there is a whole universe to explore?
Re: the end of the world, c'est soir by Bill Z Bub	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/5:56 PM
this one is pure automatic. Hrm.
Re: prove me wrong by nentwined	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:36 PM
almost titled it "a moment's whine", but that seemed too easy. Almost binned it, but that's what the ranker's for, right? ;)
Re: Fewer And Further In Between by Sigh'ense...	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:38 PM
I'll admit, I don't have a clue what you're doing with this. 1*?
Re: Disillusioned & Confused by Sigh'ense...	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:40 PM
angsty and doesn't scan well. nit: "to many just" -> "too many just" (I think?) I really like "the fetus of innocence is devoured by hypocritical jackals". I could do with that metaphor being developed further throughout. As it is, things feel scattershot. I'm not too into collage, visually or poetically.
Re: Gladly For Love by sliver	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:43 PM
forget about me. make your own tomorrow ;) the desire you feel is probably better in your head than on paper (or consummated in other ways).
Re: 9 Things to Eat for Breakfast & Why by A. Nomaly	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:44 PM
I read that as "51 lbs" black licorice and thought you really needed to lay off the meth. The rest... hmm. Doesn't really do anything for me.
Re: The Project by malpaso	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:46 PM
I think I need the same drugs as you to feel this right. Still, better than a lot of crap that gets nailed to the wall.
Re: the end of the world, c'est soir by Bill Z Bub	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:48 PM
hah, that's great. well, I mean, not Great, but I like what you did, sir, I do. I like what you did with that, and did not see it coming. Half-way through I was going to comment that I've written stuff far too similar to this (as part of a longer short-story), but I like what you did. :)
Re: 2am and sober in the digital age by nentwined	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:49 PM
*sniff* not even a slam?
Re: harvest moon by Caducus	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:53 PM
"gnawed to origin and silica"? no grok. I want more punctuation (elders' wrists? or?) You've got some good stuff inter-woven, and I even see the thread--the thread seems solid; but I think you need to work on your stitching? a 7, but I think it could be a 9 or a 10.
Re: Dream Samurai by Lifeboatman	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:54 PM
huh? Hmm. Makes more sense when I notice the title--but I'm still lost with a plastic blue pipe.
Re: Ode to the Potato by jessicazee	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/9:55 PM
If I was hungry to begin with, I was not by the middle of the first stanza... (and, okay, I wasn't quite hungry, but I _had_ been considering dessert). Second stanza has more promise, imo.
Re: prove me wrong by nentwined	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	5-Mar-09/10:01 PM
I sometimes fear this is too true, my friend.
Re: for the slaves and the seekers by Bill Z Bub	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:15 PM
hmm. hmm hmm hmm. hmm. and no, that's not supposed to mean any more than it says ;)
Re: Fake, Emo and Over Shaven by Blindpoetry	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:16 PM
"soothe" your emotions, unless you truly mean sooth--which would mean to imply you're prognosticating, some. tracking biorhythms? You've lost me with "diplome" though. Doesn't quite hang together. But I appreciate what you're doing. Shouldn't it be a pimple, though?
Re: Pill-Popper's Confessional by Sasha	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:18 PM
ROFL Yes. I think it needs a little smoothing, but yes, this is perfect ranker material.
Re: Echoes of Eichmann by Caducus	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:21 PM
has something, I like the weaving of images, and I think appropriate gravitas for the content. Just doesn't scan the way I want, and perhaps ... rough/disjoint in more than flow?
Re: The flute sound makes me blue by Prince of Void	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:21 PM
hmm, no.
Re: The death of Carlos Huarrez by Caducus	nentwined 75.83.196.201	5-Mar-09/10:23 PM
huh. good stuff here. not quite picturing it all, (and what are "blue screams"?). But yeah, some good stuff here.