Ah,First World meets Third World....by chance? Excellent work!!

i lol'd

interesting. there's chunks and cake and nugget here. but kind of disheartening to pick them out of the puke. refine?

I like "shine spasm". The rest doesn't work so much for me.

:heh: I had some trouble with the transition from 1 to 2; and 3 felt somewhat cheap.

"and why it might"? Has a good lyric sense to it, but it feels like too much nonsense, too. A touch of bob dylan, a touch of the beatles, and other things I recognize but can't name--but I think more it winds up just "touched". Then again, 6am, I might be reading too much or too little... In the end, I enjoyed it, and that's always a plus.

meh

just doesn't work for me; awkward from line to line, s to s. weird, overall, and I like that, but ... eh.

wtf? :) funny. you got funny.

doesn't cohere for me

awww. thasso sweet! :)

no. no, no, no. no. This is the poetry you have to write and you also have to show nobody ever. well, except us, because we like to yell.

eh.

Last line is aces. A++++++++++ would read again,

I was just thinking though, what mixes even better with kisses, is Absinthe and tears and when your breath freezes in the air and hangs off your loves hair like icicles shining in the light of passing taxicabs.

lol

Glad my delightful tragicomical farce amused you, Blindpoetry. Now, who's up for some flogging?

The second stanza is fantastic, "so hopeful the morning of bacon"... indeed it is, indeed it is.

...yeah...no... besides, why whould ghosts hang around boring old tombstone when there is a whole universe to explore?

this one is pure automatic. Hrm.