Chilling.

Interesting, how it draws a different scene each time, like a fractal or some equation. Also, you've selected a likable tune. Oh, we’re supposed to be commenting on the poem – it’s ok.

The past does not matter. Unless you have crabs. Then it matters. :(

If you are like one of the sheep in Ps. 23, then I think stiking closer to that image would help. The last line and the "restful waters" line are there, but the "love never . . ." line is from Paul. On the other hand, it's pretty hard to write it better than David did.

Funny. The first line is wordy.

WOW

Why start over? This is good just the way it is.

A man can write a poem beautifully. As shown by you.

This sounded more like lyrics to me. And anyway, how old are you now.... that you're already contemplating on your life. a waste of time is an apt topic for you theme. I personally feel you should have given it more thought on the presentation. Not enough drunken language in it. Only description of where. Set the scene a bit cause the entire theme is a 'binge'.

I love the opening line, but then the poem kinda loses its power for me.

I have been there, trust me. This poem is a little confusing though.

Stanzas 2 and 4 are weaker and are more cliche than the other two. You should stay more with the nature theme in stanzas 2 and 4. Change "graces creep to fill" to "graces creek fills". "Creep" is just a creepy word and doesn't quite fit in with the poem. Some really great lines in this poem though.

I searched painstakingly for hours to uncover the true meaning of this poem. After much deliberation I've come to the conclusion that this can only be about one thing and one thing only. That thing is poop.

A good outline for a poem, though a very common one. Practice unusual ways of saying it. Look for underlying truths, lies, beliefs that hinder your goals.

I like this--the bitter energy of it, the random rhymes/near rhymes (ash, flesh), the cohesiveness of it. Some good lines too--euphoric pilgrimage. Watch the cliches (ravaged soul, piece of my heart, all-embracing). Nits: one's, not ones. The 'n's for "ands" don't seem to serve any purpose; more distracting than anything. Cool.

I don't get it. Is this some kind of a roller-coaster ride called a cyclone or something like a giant ferrous wheel? Am I hot. Fill me in.

Some men can break a woman's heart with surgical skill.

Why is it sad that the joyful reader cannot sing sweetest of all? It's too much to ask, so you must mean something else. To be a joyful reader is not wanton, unless you mean unproductive in the field of things read, like an appreciator of Tolstoy, for example. But I see no fault in that.

I really like this, it is quite powerful.

I really lied this poem. It was sweet and simple.