Re: Whales in Gastineau Channel by zodiac	some deleted user 204.97.18.221	4-Feb-06/5:05 AM
Why start over? This is good just the way it is.
Re: I'm there by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 67.72.98.100	4-Feb-06/7:58 AM
If you are like one of the sheep in Ps. 23, then I think stiking closer to that image would help. The last line and the "restful waters" line are there, but the "love never . . ." line is from Paul. On the other hand, it's pretty hard to write it better than David did.
Re: Inoperative Head Mechanism by D. $ Fontera	Dovina 67.72.98.100	4-Feb-06/8:01 AM
Funny. The first line is wordy.
Re: I'm there by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	4-Feb-06/9:09 AM
Stanzas 2 and 4 are weaker and are more cliche than the other two. You should stay more with the nature theme in stanzas 2 and 4. Change "graces creep to fill" to "graces creek fills". "Creep" is just a creepy word and doesn't quite fit in with the poem. Some really great lines in this poem though.
Re: Exodus of Babylon by SupremeDreamer	ecargo 172.136.109.231	4-Feb-06/9:53 AM
I like this--the bitter energy of it, the random rhymes/near rhymes (ash, flesh), the cohesiveness of it. Some good lines too--euphoric pilgrimage. Watch the cliches (ravaged soul, piece of my heart, all-embracing). Nits: one's, not ones. The 'n's for "ands" don't seem to serve any purpose; more distracting than anything. Cool.
Re: Coney Island Fall by ecargo	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	4-Feb-06/10:31 AM
I don't get it. Is this some kind of a roller-coaster ride called a cyclone or something like a giant ferrous wheel? Am I hot. Fill me in.
Re: a waste of time by hendrimike	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	4-Feb-06/10:40 AM
This sounded more like lyrics to me. And anyway, how old are you now.... that you're already contemplating on your life. a waste of time is an apt topic for you theme. I personally feel you should have given it more thought on the presentation. Not enough drunken language in it. Only description of where. Set the scene a bit cause the entire theme is a 'binge'.
Re: The Rose by Queen of Tease	click64 81.178.103.94	4-Feb-06/4:12 PM
WOW
Re: consider the following by crwncka1	click64 81.178.103.94	4-Feb-06/4:13 PM
A man can write a poem beautifully. As shown by you.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.151.135	5-Feb-06/3:19 PM
Chilling.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 67.72.98.81	5-Feb-06/3:22 PM
Interesting, how it draws a different scene each time, like a fractal or some equation. Also, you've selected a likable tune. Oh, we’re supposed to be commenting on the poem – it’s ok.
Re: Untitled by click64	richa 81.178.151.135	5-Feb-06/3:25 PM
The past does not matter. Unless you have crabs. Then it matters. :(
Re: can you sing me a song by richa	Dovina 67.72.98.81	5-Feb-06/3:38 PM
Why is it sad that the joyful reader cannot sing sweetest of all? It's too much to ask, so you must mean something else. To be a joyful reader is not wanton, unless you mean unproductive in the field of things read, like an appreciator of Tolstoy, for example. But I see no fault in that.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	5-Feb-06/4:13 PM
I searched painstakingly for hours to uncover the true meaning of this poem. After much deliberation I've come to the conclusion that this can only be about one thing and one thing only. That thing is poop.
Re: Untitled by click64	Dovina 67.72.98.81	5-Feb-06/4:18 PM
A good outline for a poem, though a very common one. Practice unusual ways of saying it. Look for underlying truths, lies, beliefs that hinder your goals.
Re: An Understanding Woman by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	5-Feb-06/4:47 PM
Some men can break a woman's heart with surgical skill.
Re: hurricane love by crwncka1	Angelicasassy 72.40.4.69	5-Feb-06/6:43 PM
I love the opening line, but then the poem kinda loses its power for me.
Re: MyEyes/Complicated by click64	Angelicasassy 72.40.4.69	5-Feb-06/6:45 PM
I have been there, trust me. This poem is a little confusing though.
Re: An Understanding Woman by Dovina	Angelicasassy 72.40.4.69	5-Feb-06/6:49 PM
I really like this, it is quite powerful.
Re: I Heart You by Enkidu	Angelicasassy 72.40.4.69	5-Feb-06/6:53 PM
I really lied this poem. It was sweet and simple.