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Exodus of Babylon (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
Devious intentions rise out of rage 'n wretchedness to posses the mind - bend ones will to be unkind, deep within savage darkness; inching closer to a tortured demise. There is no salvation that I in euphoric pilgrimage can find. All is turned to dust & ash, here in Babylon - house of the harlot & her twisted lust driving men to sin, tempted by innocent 'n pure flesh. It is a shame to be a child, fallen from grace & painfully slipped into Chaos - A hell of fire 'n spiritual decay. Turned inward, hiding from memory, lies a piece of my heart that waits - Until the day this ravaged soul of mine is lifted out of melancholic paralysis, to blossom into furious resurrection & all-embracing freedom.

Up the ladder: A Good Man Ruined
Down the ladder: isomers

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 01
.. 10
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 4.4
Weighted score: 4.9284782
Overall Rank: 9330
Posted: February 3, 2006 3:15 PM PST; Last modified: February 3, 2006 3:15 PM PST
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Comments:
[4] god'swife @ 71.103.98.44 | 3-Feb-06/6:24 PM | Reply
Holy shit.
[7] Dovina @ 17.255.240.138 | 3-Feb-06/7:40 PM | Reply
This sounds like some folks' version of Christianity. If you mean it as satire on that, then 10. Since I'm unsure, 7
[8] ecargo @ 172.136.109.231 | 4-Feb-06/9:53 AM | Reply
I like this--the bitter energy of it, the random rhymes/near rhymes (ash, flesh), the cohesiveness of it. Some good lines too--euphoric pilgrimage. Watch the cliches (ravaged soul, piece of my heart, all-embracing).

Nits: one's, not ones. The 'n's for "ands" don't seem to serve any purpose; more distracting than anything.

Cool.
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