A good edit, in my opinion you might want to put a few more rhymes in there to make it quicker to read - it feels like it should be a fast poem to reflect the speed of clambering up and tumbling down.

I was going to ask if you'd ever been to the solstice at Stonehenge, but as your profile says you're from the States I think probably not. Anyway, I see you have a vote average of over 6, that is a fucking awesome feat for this site with the amount of poems you've posted so I thought I'd say congrats. As for the poem, not bad at all; 'retired kite strings' is wonderful!

Stanza 4 = necromancy? Not sure I get this one but I'm a bit slow, so don't worry. Say hi to horus wherever he is.

Nicely nostalgic

Proof, if it were needed, that you can't polish a turd.

Too many words.

Spelling and grammar! It makes it easier to read. I'm not yet sure whether I love or hate the last line...judgement will be suspended.

Wow. Ever read 'The Thunder, Perfect Mind' (from the Gnostic Gospels)?

A very angry Cohen. Nice.

Line two is a bit forced.

Your finest hour.

Wow, this is really good. I like the 7th line, a very good analogy. There's so much to like, very well written. The part of this poem that is really amazing is how the rythem reflected how I would imagine her dancing: light and skippy, but so very graceful and smooth.

Abstract, sometimes nonsensical. I love it. Stanza two equals Matrix by Catholic theology. Everything's about balance and the equation. Yes. The answer had better not disappoint.

It moves along quite swiftly or maybe that's just how I chose to read it(I don't know) but when I read it at that pace I found it quite passionate.

I can almost hear a country guitar and sorrowful hilbilly tune. Nice.

As usual, beautifully emotive...certainly a talent of yours!

Pretty enough but, not being a parent, I don't get much from this one. However, the rhythm is excellent; you obviously like strong timing in your poetry!

Awesome. I like "violets to violence"-that is beautiful. All the lines fit very well together...I don't see where you could make any improvments. The only thing I don't like about this one is how it makes me feel incompitent as a writer. thanks a lot. ;]

Pretty good, I'm not too crazy about lines 7 and 8. They seem too simple compared to everything else. What is with all the religious poems?

If I've interpreted the last 4 lines right (that a life without threat would be incredibly boring) then you have captured one of my deepest beliefs and the last line works marvellously. Perhaps 'Admission of a Dream' would work as a catchier title.