Re: Monkey Tree (Breathless edit) by ecargo	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:23 AM
A good edit, in my opinion you might want to put a few more rhymes in there to make it quicker to read - it feels like it should be a fast poem to reflect the speed of clambering up and tumbling down.
Re: Going Away to Fight a War by wilco	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:28 AM
I was going to ask if you'd ever been to the solstice at Stonehenge, but as your profile says you're from the States I think probably not. Anyway, I see you have a vote average of over 6, that is a fucking awesome feat for this site with the amount of poems you've posted so I thought I'd say congrats. As for the poem, not bad at all; 'retired kite strings' is wonderful!
Re: run'em'hard by grendal	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:32 AM
Stanza 4 = necromancy? Not sure I get this one but I'm a bit slow, so don't worry. Say hi to horus wherever he is.
Re: My Father’s World by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:34 AM
Nicely nostalgic
Re: My Father’s World by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	9-Feb-06/6:35 AM
Proof, if it were needed, that you can't polish a turd.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	9-Feb-06/6:38 AM
Too many words.
Re: Moonlight Paradox by Glasseyez	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:43 AM
Abstract, sometimes nonsensical. I love it. Stanza two equals Matrix by Catholic theology. Everything's about balance and the equation. Yes. The answer had better not disappoint.
Re: cryogenicide necrobot by baphomet	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:46 AM
Spelling and grammar! It makes it easier to read. I'm not yet sure whether I love or hate the last line...judgement will be suspended.
Re: The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:50 AM
Wow. Ever read 'The Thunder, Perfect Mind' (from the Gnostic Gospels)?
Re: Faith on a cross by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:57 AM
A very angry Cohen. Nice.
Re: The Wish by celticskatermatt1	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:01 AM
Line two is a bit forced.
Re: Hailing Miriam by Ranger	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/7:13 AM
It moves along quite swiftly or maybe that's just how I chose to read it(I don't know) but when I read it at that pace I found it quite passionate.
Re: Going Away to Fight a War by wilco	Dovina 67.72.98.83	9-Feb-06/7:31 AM
I can almost hear a country guitar and sorrowful hilbilly tune. Nice.
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:32 AM
As usual, beautifully emotive...certainly a talent of yours!
Re: A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/7:46 AM
Your finest hour.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/10:46 AM
Pretty enough but, not being a parent, I don't get much from this one. However, the rhythm is excellent; you obviously like strong timing in your poetry!
Re: Hailing Miriam by Ranger	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Feb-06/12:21 PM
Wow, this is really good. I like the 7th line, a very good analogy. There's so much to like, very well written. The part of this poem that is really amazing is how the rythem reflected how I would imagine her dancing: light and skippy, but so very graceful and smooth.
Re: The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Feb-06/12:27 PM
Awesome. I like "violets to violence"-that is beautiful. All the lines fit very well together...I don't see where you could make any improvments. The only thing I don't like about this one is how it makes me feel incompitent as a writer. thanks a lot. ;]
Re: My Father’s World by Dovina	drnick 24.176.22.254	9-Feb-06/12:33 PM
Pretty good, I'm not too crazy about lines 7 and 8. They seem too simple compared to everything else. What is with all the religious poems?
Re: Everything That You've Ever Wanted by drnick	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/1:03 PM
If I've interpreted the last 4 lines right (that a life without threat would be incredibly boring) then you have captured one of my deepest beliefs and the last line works marvellously. Perhaps 'Admission of a Dream' would work as a catchier title.