Re: Message sent by A_Dark_Calm	Ranger 81.158.153.184	29-Aug-06/12:08 PM
Nice enough, maybe it would benefit from 'computer' being replaced with something else that fits the more traditional feel? The only other question I have is about the final line - is it addressed directly to her/him? If so, it would work better with punctuation ("for, my love, I'll already be there"). If it's just that you've played with word order ("I'll already be there for my love") then it just feels a little strained currently. The rest of the poem is fine :-)
Re: Pane Glass Lake by MacFrantic	Ranger 81.158.153.184	29-Aug-06/12:11 PM
I think 'beastial' should be 'bestial', but I could be wrong.
Re: Arrival by Enkidu	Ranger 81.158.153.184	29-Aug-06/12:13 PM
Intriguing - anthrax?
Re: Retail by Wakeboarder20	Ranger 81.158.153.184	29-Aug-06/12:14 PM
Really good read. I swear I've seen the same title somewhere else before though.
Re: Quatrain by ALChemy	Bethy 165.154.46.204	29-Aug-06/12:39 PM
This is gooood Al, yeah it's me Bethy...:)
Re: Ending Well by Dovina	Bethy 165.154.46.204	29-Aug-06/12:43 PM
Hi Dovina, your poems have always been some of my favs...Bethy :)
Re: An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	Bethy 165.154.46.204	29-Aug-06/1:02 PM
Should I laugh? :) good poem, Bethy
Re: Tree (WARNING: do NOT hug!) by Yardbird	Ulterius 82.46.97.41	29-Aug-06/1:24 PM
Inane.
Re: With Old Light by Ranger	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	29-Aug-06/2:11 PM
Wonderful.
Re: Ending Well by Dovina	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	29-Aug-06/2:20 PM
I know guys like this. Wish you'd decide on rhyme or nonrhyme.
Re: An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	zodiac 152.18.33.185	29-Aug-06/2:34 PM
Millay would have made it rhyme. Check it out. Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain; Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink And rise and sink and rise and sink again; Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath, Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone; Yet many a man is making friends with death Even as I speak, for lack of love alone. It well may be that in a difficult hour, Pinned down by pain and moaning for release, Or nagged by want past resolution's power, I might be driven to sell your love for peace, Or trade the memory of this night for food. It may well be. I do not think I would.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 152.18.33.185	29-Aug-06/2:56 PM
Hair (Haiku) My cricketing togs I shed (including vest), when The Pakis declare*. *-i.e., jihad.
Re: Let Me Entertain You by Bethy	Ranger 86.131.52.57	29-Aug-06/10:04 PM
A couple of typos - 'Twas and 'peeked'. Other than that...HA! I just wish you'd change the last line of stanza one to something more subtle; that was the only line I wasn't laughing at.
Re: Message sent by A_Dark_Calm	amanda_dcosta 202.164.136.110	30-Aug-06/9:41 AM
I think the thirteenth line should read.. 'seem' instead of seemed. Apart from that.... it's beautiful. And welcome to Poemranker.
Re: Words (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20	Dovina 12.72.44.122	30-Aug-06/8:18 PM
I'm sure it's a tramatic event, but something is lost to me in the poetry. She (I assume she) is in your arms with her wrists cut opened, and she's alive enough to shed tears and talk of angels. Then she dies. And the only concern exoressed in the poem is that no words came to the narrator. It seems that action to stop the bleeding would be a greater concern. So there is something going on that I'm not getting from the poem.
Re: Pane Glass Lake by MacFrantic	Dovina 12.72.44.122	30-Aug-06/8:23 PM
No comma after discovered. Comma after fields. Period after lakeside. Temove "so." Replace the colon with a comma. At least it makes more sense to me that way.
Re: Let Me Entertain You by Bethy	Dovina 12.72.44.122	30-Aug-06/8:29 PM
I must disagree with Ranger on the last line of verse 1, simply because I was laughing there. Put a space before Hanky. I don't like "dirty ole' girl" - sounds contradictory. "I danced like a pro" sounds conceited, though I know what you mean. Other than that, a fine fling and a fine ending.
Re: Felice Et Eroticum Est. by Ulterius	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Aug-06/7:11 AM
Good god--who ARE you? This is brilliant. I think Owen would have found it hilarious. I do. Terrific, very "'rankerish" spoof.
Re: Pleasure. (Leisure Spoof) by Ulterius	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Aug-06/7:13 AM
From Owen to Davies--how eclectically you spoof. Clever. ;)
Re: With Old Light by Ranger	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Aug-06/7:17 AM
Hi Ranger. :) I need to really read this and think about it (when has that ever stopped anyone from commenting?), but initial impressions: metaphors are all over the place and too disconnected from one another. Some common thread to pull it together, subtle or otherwise, would give this better continuity and ground it or center it or whatever. But some excellent lines and images ("rusted gateway of a silly notion").