You know I don't like these poems that are oozing Jesus all over me...so you'll forgive me if I hold my vote.

Every stanza should end with a full stop. I know you are experimenting with style but it doesn't work. I don't like the final stanza (first two lines of) either.

Reminds me of Hunter Thompson for some reason. Throw in some mention of ether and you'll be the next gonzo journallist.

the image of a tire like a tiger's mouth doesn't work over here. Also the word 'guilty' is overdone. You shouldn't mention guilt - guilt works better that way, I think.

I don't care about your memories, I don't care about your taste, I don't care about your poem and I don't care about the explanation you gave - you're explaining your feelings. I don't care about your feelings. Being vague isn't poetic, it's boring, most of the time.

how about "it's tire like that big-ass boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark that almost ran over Indiana Jones at the beginning."

I like this except for the title.

You know what the bad thing about something like this is that you're condemning the condemners ;) I agree with your thought here but when you're lambasting someone like this, you're really just mirroring the way they are.

The Blues Highway...drive it every day. Yeah, I'd call this a lyric..it reads like one and as a free verse I'd probably only give it a 5...but as a lyric it's an 8. Doesn't make sense? Sorry.

Too disparate see daniella's txt to Russia. The 'I am' in the first line is used to draw together the images.

Final Version - that made me laugh. But then again, it's not a poem. It's a sermon. Put on a purple robe and tell them hypocrites!

Hump more.

What kind of ignorant shit is this. Jesus Christ I should've stayed gone.

Okay, I'll buy that as a decent poem.

If male, you show inordinate female understanding in the first stanza. "sadder wiser beers, drank locked behind playgrounds" says a lot. Stanza 2 blows it mostly, first with the nondescript salutation to Burundi, then the periods in UFO. And how is that related to the excellent start?

sadder wiser beers is urgh. The final stanza's enjambment is off. Why not just: It was a fire balloon from Essen/launched to measure high altitude winds. No aliens here/just hazy earthlings, shooting/into the dark bushes.

Right on, Edna. I get pissed off with all these namby-pambies rabbiting on about drinking and driving. Most accidents are caused by unlicensed yobs (often Afros) who can't drive and who have no insurance (mainly becaused the car has been stolen).

Boring tripe. Learn the difference between ITS and IT'S before writing anything again.

Not at all bad. Maybe move to a better neighbourhood (If you can afford it).

Yes, anyone who joins the army is dumb and deserves to get put into a body bag.