howl
on some deleted poem
8 Nov 2006, 1:45 PM
Well my plane was late and no one was telling me where it was so I went looking for it. I thought the runway was as good a place to look as any and blow me down it was there. The plane was delayed the toilets didn't work no one was telling me anything and the damn plane was just stood there on the runway. -10-
Yes Edna- well spotted- my French has become rather rusty.
Sorry, I only meant to devastate your vestigial manhood. It seems that in addition I've scared the crap out of you.
This has potential, but think about "Spinning around in circles that no one has ever imagined." What does it really mean? is it true? Does it really add anything to your theme? Also consider the grammar throughout; is it better to follow the rules?
If a Company can have a heart, then its eyes can have despair, and you can look there and say, "It will survive." Some eyes have faith, others hope, others love. And you know which is greatest.
What tripe! Dull! :( And "insult to injury" !!! Why not say "hanky panky" while you're at it.
Yes, poor poor man. He has no choice, always accused for what he is. Cut him up, girls; each take a piece. Really, this says it quite well.
Since you're writing a philosophical position or hypothesis or devotion, a thing I am often accused of, I'll tell you what they invariably tell me Use poetry! Forget the discourse. Just tell them where to go.
Do you think switching upper and lower case is cute? It's not. This needs more thought about what it says.
Cut out half the words for starters. Then see if there's some intresting way to way it.
It's a lot of words about poetry strung together withour much of a point. I suppose it's clever, but not very.
It's a good poem, I suppose, at least a good poem in translation. Couldn't you improve the meter though, and not lose the meaning. i.e.:
Star candles
in the peopleâs hands,
a bit of tallow
for Madonna.
Each a gift,
a silent prayer,
a secret keeping
holy honor.
Christ's chin if that is a portent to the current state of your ewok we are all doomed.
the real tragedy you write of here is the pain love causes. how can something which is so wonderful to have cause so much pain. i guess poetry is a good way to find that answer
i like this short piece. has the lines "no promises, no demands" which are also lyrics from a song on the topic of love with no promises, nice
Religious bollox.
This gives me mixed feelings; football is working class trash, so if I praise the poem, am I praising football?
www.travelreportranker.com is in dire need of your talents.
D... It's surprising how you rhyme your lines. It's so unusual of you.
Apart from that, its sad to see that PR is heart broken.
'Weasel doing in the goose'? That's too much Brixton at 3am for me. Either that, or it means something which I dread to imagine. Stanza 4 is really good. I'm surprised that you didn't include the recurring images (river/brook, weasel/goose, sun) in stanza 2 though. Line 9 misses the rhythm - could do with fixing. The rhymes work well though.