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My heart belongs to you (Free verse) by creepshow All in all this tragedy pursues,
this hatred inside me consumes.
The darkened skies,
hide my infinite lies.
Inside,
everyday
my heart dies.
All of this,
this world of piss,
conclude in me pass it to you.
I can't write anymore,
I just can't stand you whore...
Forevermore,
nevermore.
Love to you is enslavement,
I smash it to the pavement.
Set my feelings aside,
all alone,
I have died.
Up the ladder:
Passion
Down the ladder:
Acrylic French Nails
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Posted: October 13, 2006 12:24 PM PDT; Last modified: October 13, 2006 12:24 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.8410625 Overall Rank: 10733 Comments:
[5]
Dovina @ 12.72.35.74
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13-Oct-06/3:41 PM
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Reply
Lines like "infinite lies" tell us you have not yet settled upon what you want to say.
Um, I guess you don't much like her any more.
"Forevermore, nevermore."??????? I sense a severe lack of effort and just like love is enslavement, rhyming seems to have enslaved you.
the real tragedy you write of here is the pain love causes. how can something which is so wonderful to have cause so much pain. i guess poetry is a good way to find that answer
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