Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Three Worlds (Free verse) by Dovina
Worlds await along the way, attractive to the pen as dots, pulling mind lines, pushing closure, connecting wayward thought. One consists of winners, every weakness strong, joyful shouts from housetops, nothing really wrong. Another world flaunts half as winners— river wearing rocks, weasel doing in the goose, these shoes wear out my socks. One haunts all as losers— sun evaporates the brook, goose-stuffed weasel always dies, the sun itself is cooked. Their gravities will pull you, your pen may visit all, satisfying landscapes, every one a fall.

Up the ladder: No Worries
Down the ladder: (no subject)

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Weighted score: 5.0238404
Overall Rank: 7420
Posted: November 11, 2006 1:41 PM PST; Last modified: November 11, 2006 1:41 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[9] amanda_dcosta @ 61.17.227.34 | 13-Nov-06/6:43 PM | Reply
D... It's surprising how you rhyme your lines. It's so unusual of you.

Apart from that, its sad to see that PR is heart broken.
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 14-Nov-06/5:43 AM | Reply
'Weasel doing in the goose'? That's too much Brixton at 3am for me. Either that, or it means something which I dread to imagine. Stanza 4 is really good. I'm surprised that you didn't include the recurring images (river/brook, weasel/goose, sun) in stanza 2 though. Line 9 misses the rhythm - could do with fixing. The rhymes work well though.
[n/a] Dovina @ 204.250.12.246 > Ranger | 14-Nov-06/4:37 PM | Reply
Just trying for a bit of levity in this most serious business. Recurring images - too poetic for left-brained woman I guess.
[3] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 14-Nov-06/9:07 AM | Reply
Christ's chin if that is a portent to the current state of your ewok we are all doomed.
233 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001