Shardik
on Love's Fine Line by peaceseeker
30 Oct 2003, 7:07 PM
China is Reddish yellow.
10!- for throwing Cro-Magnon to a yet, more primordial form!
1st critique all over again, & then some... if only you knew!!!?(sp.)
I'm cauterized & hard...you busy later?
I'm milked, like your Halloween costume! My blood tastes more like a fine blend of absinthe & moosehead
the subject choice is not original; love fire/fire burns.
But nevertheless I think you writing has quite a lively voice, though somewhat archaic.
When I was a child, before I could use a keyboard, I used to replace song lyrics with funny alternatives (love/glove).
I sometimes wonder what I would have done had I known of poemranker and being able to type then.
gizard on a skilet,
yummmmmmm.
wat about the bottle rockets?
G
good
but generic
still good.
you hav a thing with the word glossy.
?
8
you also have a thing for bleeding and chests.
?
8
It's a nice poem, but it leaves me wanting punctuation or breaks, something.
Decent idea presented in rather generic fashion.
"What good are my words on paper?" Toilet paper, maybe?
Hard hittin' street poetry if there ever was hard hittin' street poetry.
It was so cute in those days when you were just poor little Ranger â the little brit popper that couldnât.
I still think some of the imagery here is a bit arbitrary and when laid out in a literal sense, quite confusing.
This poem is to american poetry what farming is to terrorism.