-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on some deleted poem
30 Oct 2003, 2:31 AM
Your beard is like the Moon,
Huge and exciting.
An excellent Poem (But I do believe it is "Hang" Glider)
It reminded me of a thing I read in a book somewhere--where a man was about to drown and was rescued at the last moment. He was upset because he finally was about to find out what it feels like to be a drowning man, and he was now robbed of that experience.
hipster flare
on I have no problem with short people of color or religion by horus8
30 Oct 2003, 6:48 AM
an excellent social commentary.
I like it. Paints a vivid image.
I like it, but I don't know what to make of it at the same time.
I hate the Beatles but i'll try not to hold that against you. Amusing.
Invert your closing lines. "left a stopped watch" kee-lar.
"As I wake I go to the window , there I focus my eyeâs on the poodle." pull your comma tight and pull the apostrophe out of "eye's".
"circler" is spelled circular
"with their ass" should be on their ass.
"He bends even more and I start to get stiff.
I can see the seams giving way for his pants to rip.
So I wait quiet, and then it goes.
And there lies low an behold.
he looks around to see if anyone saw
which tickled my fancy.
I leave the door window and
I head to the bed,
for I have finished my job.
I lay on back and think of what I seen.
Then I reach in and start rubbing the knob.
Voyeur of the year, join the club.
peep fiend . . ." Now little brother this is too vague? you must make it clearer for your readers in order for them to get what you're saying.
Too vague, even for you.
That's odd? I read this same thing tattood upon
-=Dark_Angel=-'s reddening rump last week during one of our bi yearly Christian retreaties.
The reason was, of course, acute vaginal terror brought on by a future tongue disease called MAIDS.
Where did all your poems go?
someone should beat you with a spade. I'd sell tickets.
This was very sweet - Naive, but sweet. Unless you've lived through a 4 year old whom you have to chase through a store - you've no idea - and the sweet sentimentality doesn't last...
As for Doylum's comments - if you're only lasting 2 min 12 sec. or bangin someone who does - they've drugs for that now - you may want to check into it...
My idea of a late night toss. 10!
great start!!! but then you made an arse of it??
you little wanker!that my mom...
Hmmm?
well?
uh?
ok then . . .