| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Love (Free verse) by EouSou Making love to grow a child
Starts out by just a kiss
When two peoples heart's
Grow twice their size
And rainbows cloud the sky
Two hours of passion
9 months of love
And years of tenderness
Making all of life a single moment
That began with just a kiss
Up the ladder:
Deceit
Down the ladder:
Life is feudal
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.7777777
Posted: October 29, 2003 10:54 AM PST; Last modified: October 29, 2003 10:54 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.888889 Overall Rank: 9914 Comments:
'Making love to grow a child' is a rather interesting line, seems so unsentimental.
Then 'two peoples hearts grow twice the size' is unabashedly OTT romantic. Two nice lines but somewhat at odds I think. The bit about life a single moment is a bit trite, what comes before it does not convince.
Peoples' hearts.
Otherwise, horribly treacherous and self centered. lol
Excellent. Simply excellent. Hi, I'm -=Dark_Angel=-. I wonder if I could use this piece to help give feeling to a Stephen Hawking memorial Hallowe'en Extravaganza I'm throwing on Friday?
When is this wondrous extravaganza? I am a staunch supporter of Stephen Hawkings and all that he stands for.
oh how ironic!
I don't care for your attitude.
I don't care for your fat head. Fat head
Two hours of passion my fats hairy dangleberried arse. Anyone who claims to last more than 2 minutes 12 seconds is either a malicious mellifluous mendaciant, and or a blond haired worbelling geordie tosser.
Otherwise this is second to none!"
Making love to a child
Starts out by just a kiss I'm not sure I approve of your pederastic activities, sir!!!!!!
This was very sweet - Naive, but sweet. Unless you've lived through a 4 year old whom you have to chase through a store - you've no idea - and the sweet sentimentality doesn't last...
As for Doylum's comments - if you're only lasting 2 min 12 sec. or bangin someone who does - they've drugs for that now - you may want to check into it... 172 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Sweet as pie. Unfortunately the rainbows send this zooming to Over-The-Top Ville. Again, my first impression was just kind of ahhhhhh... that's gentle + tender, and I'm all for that sort of thing. Does it really make 'all of life a single moment'?