What bugs me is the use of past tense.. specifically "If words were not needed to be kindled," It just reads wierd, and is slightly confusing.. or that could just be me. Other than that? Blessed with eight.

Yes, some nice imagery. I do agree with Frass' comments, however. I personally have trouble when a metre is established or implied in a rhyming poem like this and then the poet strays from it so radically. It ends up feeling imbalanced and amateurish. It's best either to free it up completely, or choose your words very carefully and stick to the metre.

Kinda confused!

Good, Awesome beginning, but i got kinda lost in the middle some where

Very sexual but has a wicked awesome twist at the end

Great work caducus, twas a good read. Nine.

LOVED IT RIGHT UP MY STREET

Good, couldn't really get into the first verse, but the second is good. The stench rises/buried alive in dead fish stand out particularly. 'The beach is not environmentally friendly' seems a bit awkward though

The first line beak makes no sense to me.

You condemned me by showing heaven is good (I think the first part may be an old quote). The rhyming seems oddly placed though

sleep with the fishes?

All aroused? - surely some more creative use of language would better communicate your point.

I've read this poem over and over, and every time I get something different out of it. This is one of those instances where I may not fully grasp or clearly understand the full import what is being said – indeed, I may not have the capacity – but the poem is so beautifully crafted that I don’t care. Gorgeous.

last 3 lines really resonate. as usual v.good/

Strikes an all-too-familiar chord in me.

this is awsome, i wish i could give it better than a 10

pretty good, it's a half-rhyme kinda thing...i like it

I dunno, religion is tough to pick on with a straight face anymore. Kindof like bitch-slapping someone with a learning disability for not knowing linear math; tough to tell who's more retarded. To do it in a non-informative way - without explanation, is adopting the same philosophies that a believer relies on. Not that I don't do the same damn thing. That having been said, I find this entertaining enough to give it a yellowed snowman (courtesy of SupremeDreamer).

Yup, I hear the wheenie roasts in the fire pit kick ass, and that they got rock'n'roll playin 24/7. Also heard the devils supposed to be this dominatrix type lady dressed to kill in red. I always wondered.. if your a masochist who enjoys pain, are you sent to heaven if you haven't been a good boy? Because really now, I thinks theres a loophole in all this with placement exceptions.. maybe we should tell the pope? Blessed with 8.

nice journey (to "the conscious reunion with (your) love"). i love this.