| Re: Cliche by Blue Magpie |
9-May-04/8:40 PM |
largess should be largesse
Very good
-9-
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| Re: THE MISSING HEART by Prince of Void |
9-May-04/8:39 PM |
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| Re: 1 by Clockwork orange? |
9-May-04/8:37 PM |
Forced rhymes.
You can't cross an i
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| Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco |
9-May-04/2:31 PM |
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Good song indeed. Unfortunately a song is not necessarily a poem, though it can be. This straddles the border between song and poem.
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| Re: Outhouse by newagepoet2000 |
9-May-04/2:28 PM |
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You know this shit you have posted has a stench more vile than any that comes out of my own or anybody else's rectum.
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| Re: This Summers Ablaze by DeadtotheWorld |
9-May-04/2:06 PM |
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And use some rhymes that are more varied
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| Re: a comment on Sonnet on an Operating Table by Sasha |
8-May-04/6:16 PM |
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Pinsky's Inferno is supposed to sound like Dante'. If it doesen't, then it has failed, no matter how good it may be.
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| Re: a comment on Sonnet on an Operating Table by Sasha |
8-May-04/5:37 PM |
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Pinsky's Inferno, which is on my shelf at the moment, is extremely good. It just doesen't sound at all like Dante
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| Re: sunrise at kofa by unknown^user |
8-May-04/12:38 PM |
"When the lips again begin to flutter"
And "I became oblivious, and alone"
seem to have no meaning whatsoever. Their only purpous seems to be to force the lips to a sinuous surfeit of labial consonants in recitation.
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| Re: a comment on Sonnet on an Operating Table by Sasha |
8-May-04/12:16 PM |
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Yes, I saw this "Terza Rima" category sitting in the form menu, all alone because it had no poems for company. The poor thing was so dejected and depressed that I took pity on it and decided to give it a poem to spend its digits with. Now I know that it's not entirely Terza Rima (Terza Rima it typically much longer and has no couplet at the end, but I don't have the patience to write a whole Inferno's worth, though my translation of Canto I of the Inferno is in the works) but it'll do for now to help the category live happily ever after
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| Re: To Who Ever Wrote That Roller Coaster Poem... by Fear of Garbage |
6-May-04/7:52 PM |
One third rediculous, one sixth pointless, and half-vivid.
You have therefore earned yourself a -7-
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| Re: a comment on The Nude by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
6-May-04/7:48 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Lorca's Terrible Presence (Edit) by Sasha |
5-May-04/8:02 PM |
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And Catullus IS an exciting writer
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| Re: a comment on Lorca's Terrible Presence (Edit) by Sasha |
5-May-04/6:11 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Lorca's Terrible Presence (Edit) by Sasha |
5-May-04/5:36 PM |
that would be "upholsterer's"
Which Russian poet did you have in mind?
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| Re: a comment on Lorca's Terrible Presence (Edit) by Sasha |
5-May-04/5:32 PM |
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My intent however was a sprung rhythm where just the accented syllables are counted, not a syllabo-tonic one where they're all counted
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| Re: a comment on Lorca's Terrible Presence (Edit) by Sasha |
5-May-04/5:29 PM |
I've tried justifying (the printer's term might be more fitting than the uphulsterer's) the lines that way above.
Russian's one of the three languages I was born into (the others are french and english)
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| Re: a comment on As Catullus Said (Updated and Revised) by Sasha |
4-May-04/8:13 PM |
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I'm not sure why, but "as hard as ore" doesen't seem as strong to me as "eran de acero" (Which has an even stronger resonance with a hard Castillian "th" sound, though Storni probably didn't actually pronounce it that way), perhaps use "They were pure iron" or "They were sheer steel" though I'm not sure how the rhyme would work there
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| Re: a comment on As Catullus Said (Updated and Revised) by Sasha |
4-May-04/8:03 PM |
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| Re: a comment on As Catullus Said (Updated and Revised) by Sasha |
4-May-04/7:15 PM |
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I personally like Sappho's original better
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