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sunrise at kofa (Ode) by unknown^user
if the hills sing then the valleys mourn and the clouds weep for their own weaknesses this sort of silence is deafening and when the lips again begin to flutter, and the sounds unite into emotions you become oblivious, deaf to all if the hills sing and the valleys mourn then the smiles we carry become unintentional these sort of smiles are irrelevant but when the dawn smiles down and the eyes unite in an unfettered gaze, we have again lost, defeated by it all When the silence was deafening I became oblivious, and alone

Up the ladder: Mixed Posture

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.1666665
Weighted score: 5.313765
Overall Rank: 3570
Posted: May 7, 2004 7:24 PM PDT; Last modified: May 7, 2004 7:24 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] zodiac @ 67.240.155.25 | 8-May-04/3:43 AM | Reply
"if the hills sing and the valleys mourn" seems to me to have no meaning whatsoever. What do you think?
[6] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 | 8-May-04/9:34 AM | Reply
This sounds melodic, but when I try to understand it, I come up with very little. I think it needs more than melody.
[5] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 | 8-May-04/12:38 PM | Reply
"When the lips again begin to flutter"


And "I became oblivious, and alone"

seem to have no meaning whatsoever. Their only purpous seems to be to force the lips to a sinuous surfeit of labial consonants in recitation.
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