Re: Incidentally, you might want to look up 'Amplexus' by Shin-Bojangles	28-Aug-02/10:33 PM
Hopefully she was over the toilet. Let see? I have not used stupid in awhile. Weak comedy. Yes, that should do.
Re: A-Team #2 by Shin-Bojangles	28-Aug-02/10:27 PM
razorgirl this bojangle fellow could write a whole page of semi colons and it would rock your sock, which I hope do not smell. But unfortunately the haiku tribute to bad TV gives me gas..
Re: Walls by razorgrin	28-Aug-02/3:03 PM
This could definitely be tightened. Drop some of the articles, let the real rhythm out, and change the passive to active. Make it happen as we read it. "Outside, wind blows cold, whipping faces and making knuckles ache. Dark hangs like a heavy blanket over our town." And so on. I still cannot figure out if I like the rest of the poem, but I am trying.
Re: School by shwenatjadeflower	28-Aug-02/2:46 PM
So how do kids get grounded these days?
Re: Be My Girl by disturbedone182	28-Aug-02/12:25 PM
Wow! This is simple and to the point. Hell, I'll be your bitch. Do you speak Emotion instead of English also?
Re: Colours by unknown	27-Aug-02/11:29 PM
So your are saying Asians, who generally have an olive tint to the skin which many construe as being yellowish, are cowards and racists?
Re: Tryst by <~>	27-Aug-02/11:02 PM
Hmmm. I was always taught that if you are too close to it, save it for later to avoid the dramatic sentiment. But this, writer of triangle poems, is interesting. I agree with GW. I laughed a bit on first reading. But I think it was the general rhyme scheme. I think somewhere in our head we are programmed to think limericks as being funny. The only thing that confused me on the first couple of reads is the land images mixing with water images, but that could be questioning if this is something grounded or skirting. Who knows? Reading too much into it, I suppose.
Re: Disillusioned & Confused by Sigh'ense...	27-Aug-02/10:53 PM
This poem, excuse me lyric, has some seriously confused images and lines. And some lines I actually like. Poisonous curriculum is good, but what exactly is "cerebral tuberculosis?" Plus, I get the feeling you sat down with a thesaurus and plagued the poem, excuse me again, lyric, with unneeded syllables.
Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit	27-Aug-02/10:43 PM
Swishy24 I am so sorry I criticized your work of genius and forced you to take your poem of the site and run and tell mother. However, it sucked. I cannot change the way I feel, and I think what I said about the poem was extremely constructive and poignant. See, I am not fighting my hormones and contemplating suicide at every step so I can write deep dark sentimental poor me sap. My poems involve skill that you would not even begin to understand because you are still reading Judy Blume and Harry Potter books. Hone your skills in puberty and then come back and post. I am tired of reading crap. And one last note: I did not give you a 0. It was not worth rating by number in my opinion. Someone else must love your work also. As for Anotherday, shut up if you do not post. Get some thick skin. "Oh poetry is about sharing and caring and expressing your soul" Please, start reading serious poets and quit wasting our time.
Re: Suicide I by disturbedone182	27-Aug-02/7:21 PM
Didn't I just read this? Why did you just make it one poem? It is the same. Both are so filled with redundancies that you could cut down both into one haiku. The random file is throwing some real crap out tonight.
Re: Suicide III by disturbedone182	27-Aug-02/7:18 PM
Of good god, see all the other adolescent angsters on this site and do a group hug. All your stuff is so over-the-top melodramatic, filled with such serious problems as pimples and being grounded on Friday night so you cannot go to the mall. Just wait, it gets worse. But seriously, contact all the teeny bops on the site and give a big hug to cure your sad miserable writing.
Re: UNTITLED by New Life Drug	27-Aug-02/12:14 AM
This sounds angry and that is the only thing I like. But it is without merit.
Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles	26-Aug-02/11:40 PM
Excuse me for intervening in here, but shut the fuck up, you driveling idiot and get off the sexually repressed soapbox. Bitch and moan all you want about Shin and razors utterly exposed sex life if you post something you fuck. If not, shut the hell up, because frankly you sound like some type of fool that has issues with your sexuality. Thus, you decided to come on this site with your once were warrior's hogwash and berate people who are actually trying to better themselves as poets. Granted there is a good deal of amateurish writing on this site, but there are also quite a few poets here with a good deal of talent. And you are obviously too narrow minded to see that. And for you to continue with this nonsensical drool regarding two people obviously fond of each with such vile and crude statements just leave. Because we have enough little dicked wonders (sorry Gods wife) on this site as it is. But at least they post and take the heat. You my friend simply hide behind your high school mannerisms without proving yourself. You weak-minded waste. So do not go fuck the world, just go fuck yourself.
Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit	26-Aug-02/5:27 PM
I have not been paying any attention to god's wife (aka Ms Gloria, although I cannot call her that anymore). My point is if you change the scope of your critique so you give the illusion of being kind and cuddly to poems (and I guarantee you there are some who will take it that way) and revert into pure satire we are, in a sense, losing an element that makes this site tick. As far as this poem goes, I kept the articles in the poem and chose "cat" for a specific reason and I think you are picking up on it.
Re: One wish by mishy_lee	26-Aug-02/3:57 PM
Mishy this is just way too mushy.
Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit	26-Aug-02/3:23 PM
D.A. now come on, you are satirizing your own satire; using cruelty as another expression of cruelty. Just be mean. Screw the little tots and their love poems. But you may be on to something in this poem, but let???s see how it turns out.
Re: A Boy Named Todd by LobotomyNeedle	26-Aug-02/10:19 AM
This is the best of the three. Kipling would be proud.
Re: Daisies by LobotomyNeedle	26-Aug-02/10:18 AM
What's the point? Pure stupidity.
Re: Call Me Lional by LobotomyNeedle	26-Aug-02/10:17 AM
Consider you were trying for the joke element you deserve no praise.
Re: A Sonnet for Barbara by PatColvin	26-Aug-02/10:12 AM
And then take off those shoes and get in that kitchen and make me some supper!! Although the sentiment may be sincere, the poem is filled with over the top mush.