on Alone by Lil_Chick_512
14 Aug 2002, 11:48 AM
Geez, you say I'm mean. I left this "alone".
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 11:55 AM
Hilarious!! Poor little guy. Randy Newman writes poetry!!
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 10:20 AM
But right is right, the poem is downright awful. It sounds like an ode to soccer thugs. However, hey, if you think everything your write is ready for prime time, who I am to argue. Rejection will speak for itself.
on Let's praise the flesh peddler by horus8
14 Aug 2002, 10:26 AM
And I though George Carlin taught me new phrases. You take the cake. I think the intensity of the poem is stronger than what you are trying to say, but I would love to hear it live just for effect.
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 9:25 AM
A freaking stalker. No wonder you live in a forest. "I have never witnessed before in that" this line feels strained. The end image is a little confusing (at least to me) - I guess he wouldn't pull over to the side and park (would that be to obvious), so he has to hang out in the middle of the road, gape and gawk, until another car moves him along - now that isn't obvious.
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 9:42 AM
I don't know writer of triangle poems. I get some self pity in there. Like maybe he is turning away because that person now has something he could never give her. The images are clever in their simplicity, which makes me think more self-pity than any sort of conscious manly decision. I think the narrator is a wuss for not stopping and only moping around the outside and giving someone his excuse to move on. But I still think it is a freaking stalker poem.
on How much? by T.Becquerel II
14 Aug 2002, 9:45 AM
A funky tactic. I was a sucker. But then again, I am from Misery.
on I LOVE YOUR HATE AND RIDICULE by http://janglingjack
14 Aug 2002, 7:42 AM
Well, janglejack, you have succeeded in creating new uses for the ellipsoidal. You can take that away with you while you get some thicker skin.
on The War by Tarquin De La Bog
14 Aug 2002, 9:00 AM
I have to agree with the writer of triangle poems. The varied rhythms are interesting - I feel the jerk and pull. In addition, I like the "drug of relief" - good image.
on skeletons by tat2dangel
14 Aug 2002, 9:07 AM
The last line is incredibly confusing.
on Something Caught My Eye by x311
14 Aug 2002, 9:11 AM
How can it be a day like any other when you meet such a hottie? "A body and face of a goddess she possesses" is a little much. If you presented more images and less telling, you might have a poem in here.
on Whispering Water by forestchild7
14 Aug 2002, 9:13 AM
What is it with all the ellipsoidal use? Are you hanging with jangle jack? A line break is a sufficient pause I think. The...gives more of an impression of tapering off into infinity. The poem reminds me of panty hose for some reason.
on Who am I ? by SkateBoardGurl5799
13 Aug 2002, 12:34 PM
Here's a bright young take on the state of things. Shouldn't this go in your journal?
on Day of Reckoning by Lenore
13 Aug 2002, 1:13 PM
Fairy fart? That is creative. Homophobic ramble aside, do you have these strokes of genius often? I am looking for my father, read the text, and quit kowtowing. It does not look good on paper (or in this case a computer screen).
on some deleted poem
13 Aug 2002, 1:44 PM
College poetry comps. Right-o. Try state. Pete, sorry my friend, but you smoke way too much pot. It shows in your poetry. You probably belong to a drum circle group and chant. It is all in the poetry. I like some of your images, but they wander away in your deep thoughts. And my work is on the site so free to jerk my manhood.
on Poor Hollywood by zzaj
14 Aug 2002, 10:28 AM
Some of the images are clever - "smog feels tense, dark that grows brighter," but the poem ultimately loses me in the end.
on A Relationship that didnt last by lucky_cmc
14 Aug 2002, 11:08 AM
Oh brother. And such a clever use of profanity wasted.
on some deleted poem
13 Aug 2002, 5:13 PM
This isn't bad. Seems the mind doesn't go wandering much on the short stuff.