| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Whispering Water (Free verse) by forestchild7 slightly smooth and pretty,
while the water undulates around me...
cool and comforting,
while I splash and shout out loud...
silky and soft,
while I slide through it towards him...
whispering around my skin,
while I hug myself briefly...
the air chills me,
while I see him watching me...
gliding towards him
while the moon is full...
holding each other,
while the water whisper's our names
into the silence around us...
***April 20th, 2002***
Up the ladder:
Too late to live
Down the ladder:
somebody's birthday
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.285714
Posted: July 18, 2002 9:35 AM PDT; Last modified: July 18, 2002 9:35 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0768404 Overall Rank: 6496 Comments:
[8]
mikeyh53581 @ 216.180.204.225
|
25-Jul-02/7:50 PM
|
Reply
I really liked this one... wanted to thank you for commenting on mine, too... I added one today..
What is it with all the ellipsoidal use? Are you hanging with jangle jack? A line break is a sufficient pause I think. The...gives more of an impression of tapering off into infinity. The poem reminds me of panty hose for some reason.
243 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
