skeletons

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 3 comments

the disease weaves back and forth through my tired veins a never-ending battle the victor is the one who reigns all I wanted was a hand to hold his fingers were too cold his manner too controlled my heart dropped and shattered self-esteem splattered made a mess on the bathroom floor You turned your head and sighed ignored the way I cried out for you but you were out the door...

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3 comments

[n/a] nentwined 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply

the last lines stumbles for me. maybe if you lead into it after cried with "..." and put a comma after "out for you"? I like "made a mess on the bathroom floor". I'm not too into the disease metaphor at the beginning, and ... "the victor is the one who reigns", as a tautology, sesms a bit out of place.

[n/a] poetandknowit 14-Aug-02/9:07 AM Reply

The last line is incredibly confusing.

[8] ShivaDiva 31-Aug-04/10:45 AM Reply

SICK! :D