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Salt (Free verse) by <~>
Water to wash away the stain of mundane. Lick my wounds, surging surf And pepper me with ablutive spray. Of the earth, I am bound to what is Mine. My blood swells; I curse Flat out lies from his lips And vinegar now in his kiss Pass the man over, he is not worth It, taking that risk. Pan him, can him: don't go astray. Preserve yourself from the hurt Cellared in my spirit. Stay away. Shaker, mover, faker, loser--you poured it In my wounds, blinded me with lies, Petered me away. I have come to despise All these lines. I am done with you, done with it.

Up the ladder: Tide
Down the ladder: Hold On Tight

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.733333
Weighted score: 6.526715
Overall Rank: 662
Posted: August 14, 2002 7:01 AM PDT; Last modified: August 14, 2002 9:04 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.10 | 14-Aug-02/8:49 AM | Reply
You have succeeded. I am now thirsty.
[n/a] <~> @ | 14-Aug-02/8:52 AM | Reply
incorrect answer, but i'll buy you a beer anyway. this one's a layered riddle.
[9] Robert K Foster @ 209.68.64.69 | 14-Aug-02/8:57 AM | Reply
Nicely Done.
[8] Tarquin De La Bog @ 213.120.56.45 | 14-Aug-02/9:55 AM | Reply
Very good! 8. The form is great, and some of the imagery is nicely done - 'vinegar now in his kiss'. Just one thing though; there's no mention of Tequila!
[8] brazen @ 12.90.41.7 | 14-Aug-02/11:06 AM | Reply
little vinegar never hurt anyone...until it gets in your eyes and makes you blind...which is common for me (take this both metaphorically and literally).
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 14-Aug-02/11:45 AM | Reply
morning z...the ending is a leaning crucifix of young sailors tormented by salt peter and morning wood wet dreams, plus the structure makes it go in lots of different directions..lots of stuff happening here...treasure chest tawny flesh, grandma lovers it!
[n/a] <~> @ | 14-Aug-02/11:53 AM | Reply
actually, one of the constructs i enjoyed the most in making it is the way the rhyme doubles back on itself in the first part (aba, cbc, cbc, aba), and then the final stanza's marked, 'deed', which is what caused the pain and the decision in the first place. funny how you can lauch it off 14 years later. salt still stings, remembering...
[8] Frass @ 66.160.116.193 | 14-Aug-02/2:06 PM | Reply
Wonderful work, once again, from one of my favorite poets on poemranker. I've mentioned to you poets your work reminds me of; but, also consider the lyrics of Richard Thompson; particularly tunes like 'Shoot out the lights' and 'Just the motion.'
[7] ==Doylum @ 213.122.142.246 | 15-Aug-02/4:11 PM | Reply
attic salt on yer fishfenerks, na i like mayonnaise with bits in. Never been one for these greeks and their gymnasiums
[8] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 22-Aug-02/7:52 AM | Reply
Remind me not to get on your bad side. This is great and full of venom.
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