Replying to a comment on:

Salt (Free verse) by <~>

Water to wash away the stain of mundane. Lick my wounds, surging surf And pepper me with ablutive spray. Of the earth, I am bound to what is Mine. My blood swells; I curse Flat out lies from his lips And vinegar now in his kiss Pass the man over, he is not worth It, taking that risk. Pan him, can him: don't go astray. Preserve yourself from the hurt Cellared in my spirit. Stay away. Shaker, mover, faker, loser--you poured it In my wounds, blinded me with lies, Petered me away. I have come to despise All these lines. I am done with you, done with it.

<~> 14-Aug-02/11:53 AM
actually, one of the constructs i enjoyed the most in making it is the way the rhyme doubles back on itself in the first part (aba, cbc, cbc, aba), and then the final stanza's marked, 'deed', which is what caused the pain and the decision in the first place. funny how you can lauch it off 14 years later. salt still stings, remembering...




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001