Re: 9/11 by dougsoderstrom	13-Sep-02/11:30 AM
Dear Doug: since I am the house roach here and everybody else seems to have wandered back to their lives I will try to answer your questions. First off, I do not think many of the folks who have responded to your poem lacked an understanding of it. I know that on first read it was quite clear what you were saying, although I did not pinpoint it as Iraq but took it to mean our lovely "war on terrorism." As far as your comment to beaker, technically yes, a haiku is not restricted to the 5/7/5. It is basically an American translation of the haiku. So you are right there, but in almost all cases a haiku is under 17 syllables, which this is not, so he is correct in questioning the style. Also a haiku tends to focus on one image, although the creator of this site will argue that two contrasting images are necessary, which you have incorporated into the poem. Traditionally, using simplistic imagery is what brought about the haiku's depth, but in this case, you not only use burden-laden imagery, but border on cliche. The lovely (oh if you only look like the image I have in my head) God's Wife was making the case that the best artistic works, especially on areas relating to real events are usually best tackled by those who experienced it first hand. I realize we all experienced it first hand in some sort, although I was in bed, but the general philosophy in formalist literary circles is "write what you know, know what you right." As far as your comments to Limeness, I think she, like all of us were a bit amused by the tedious explanation of a poem most of us were well equipped intellectually to understand. It really is not deep or complex at all - simple imagery, simple metaphor, etc. And my comments regarding Christianity were not in reference to the poem, but to the comments. Just trying to keep it real and light. And last but not least, a good majority of the folks on this site are not American and thus were not affected as Americans. So that is always good to remember. 8>pk
Re: pavement by faded	14-Sep-02/6:45 PM
Great band, bad poem.
Re: Full Fathom Five by vulcan	15-Sep-02/1:54 PM
Superior literature my ass. This is stuff they teach you in high school. Besides being rather a yawner in the grand tradition of Hardy the writing falls into the christof school of lacking Umph!!!
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Sep-02/1:56 PM
The poem lacks experience. Oh well, nice try.
Re: Morning Glory by waltfreakinwhitman	15-Sep-02/7:34 PM
Funny stuff, but really in the morning and only seven tugs. Sheesh, are you like the king of premature ejaculation?
Re: demiurge by crin	15-Sep-02/7:37 PM
This poem makes me wonder if you have ever been to Vegas or just watched what it is like to be there on some travel channel. If you have been there, well, then your observations are just weak. So is this poem.
Re: witch's bliss by crin	15-Sep-02/7:38 PM
You are on a roll of goof poetry tonight. Keep it up! I laughed all the way through!
Re: winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown	15-Sep-02/7:44 PM
When your robe slips open and you tell him to beat it. That was a great Freudian slip. What did you really want Balth? Hmmm. But really, quite nice in places. I personally would remove the goddamn. It has more of an effect without it. I don't know I am also not a fan of dialogue in poems, but that is just me. And didn't you find a mate who let you loaf at the typewriter all day. It is important work! Half of being a good writer is finding a significant other with a fantastic job!!!!
Re: mystery by jlanza	15-Sep-02/7:47 PM
Like, oh my God Becky, this poem is like totally a foot long. Like wow, talk about meter. Congrats on finding yet another way to mock the poor art form.
Re: Putney at Low Tide by Christof	15-Sep-02/7:52 PM
I really never thought in my life I would read so many poems about birds. You make merry old England sound so boring!!
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Sep-02/8:22 PM
I'm so confused. You dream he dreams; a party; dunes. I feel like I am stoned and reading GG Marquez. Are you pissed because he is not using his powers how they should be, because he is afraid? And really who cares if a dream within a dream within a dream, because eventually he will wake up in your dream and you will wake from your dream and the world will be happy again.
Re: Like and Unlike by Christof	15-Sep-02/8:23 PM
Yawn!
Re: Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>	15-Sep-02/8:37 PM
Depends, and much fresher sushi! No more cathedrals. Only the sewn girls from now on! Soup wasn't as good coming back up!
Re: Regime Change by Nicholas Jones	16-Sep-02/9:24 AM
I actually like this one better than the other. You personalize it a bit more so when you blab your foolishness it doesn't sound so trite. And you know how many times the media throws the "it is another Vietnam" lingo around? I think Russia has had one and is having yet another. And of course, the US, everything they do globally with bombs is considered another "hush word." Have you considered writing your leader and telling him to wipe Bush's poop off his nose. Because that is what I would do. But really are we not just mopping up the problems the brits caused in the first place. And oh, War is Hell.
Re: God and Country by dougsoderstrom	16-Sep-02/9:40 AM
Balth: 5/7/5 is an American translation of the haiku. See my complete diatribe in Doug's 9/11, which is not a haiku. But this is, and a pretty good one at that. You seem angry. do you have your flag out. Have you tried writing your congressperson? I wrote 736 letters to various political figures last year and am at 614 so far this year. Most asking for interviews and such, but now they all want money from me. Hmmm. Maybe we should bomb them.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Sep-02/5:01 PM
somebody been readin' the noonday demon. join the dps. ummm. Try bein' a journalist in latin america...now that is suicide. Anyway, they say the depressed are self-obsessed and this is where i put this poem. Like others much more. Tell your prepube rugrat hello. He wants to ravage my daughter. hormones!!
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Sep-02/5:12 PM
Pointless and goofy. "I've seen the empires crash and burn" have you really. How old are you, 13? Are you trying to write lyrics for the Megadeath reunion album? You have wasted my time.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Sep-02/6:49 PM
Is this poem about me?
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Sep-02/6:51 PM
Ugh.... Curse... of the ...ellipsoidal.
Re: Grandma by waltfreakinwhitman	17-Sep-02/11:43 AM
That's gross man, just gross. No wonder you're gay.