regarding some deleted poem...	2-Oct-03/9:02 PM
What is an infant rainbow as opposed to just a rainbow? And are they not limitied to a certain number of colors? What is a veil of oblivion?
Re: The Thought Of It by Christof	2-Oct-03/10:05 PM
Damn I love this poem. I think I love you Christof.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Oct-03/10:28 PM
So are you actually holding the ashes or are they in an urn, or just in the plastic box from the morgue. Really, I only think the song could be successful if Kermit the Frog were to sing and play it (capo on the 3rd) on kind bud. But that is just me.
Re: Death by Artemis745	2-Oct-03/10:29 PM
Ha, you had me going there for a minute.
Re: Broken Mirror by Artemis745	2-Oct-03/10:40 PM
Young people are trapped in an endless cycle of rhetorical questions. Bummer. And, seven years bad luck. Look what it has done to the Cubs and all because of a curse put on the team by a tavern owner who could not bring his goat to a World Series game. Now there is something to think about next time you pick up the pencil.
Re: The Western World by mrpresident	2-Oct-03/10:48 PM
I really don’t get the sense that you have ever worked a dead-end job in your life, thus when you attempt to write about it you actually have to mention the phrase instead of creating or conjuring a metaphor that would get the job done with the desired effect. But since the experience is not there you would never think to come up with that. Nor do you even understand the concept of buying or selling or what is bought or sold by those who sell and buy. And then, yet more rhetorical questions. Think about it.
Re: The man, the world by INTRANSIT	3-Oct-03/12:35 PM
natures skyscraper... I like this (even without the apostrophe) and I was digging the poem until if flopped over and turned melodramatic. K.I.S.S.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/12:37 PM
Punctuation would not hurt.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/12:40 PM
The lack of punctuation and using the “line break” pause takes a poem that makes little sense and makes it make even less sense.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/12:46 PM
A vale is a depression or a valley. Are you saying the ancient queen is tucked away in a ruby valley? And why the ............... instead of just ... which is just effective but only if you know how to use it properly, which you don't. And the direct voice is not working here. You are writing the poem to "us" not a specific "you". Thus, it is nothing more than bad didactic rambling.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/12:53 PM
better.
Re: The Swallower (Oh brother!) by Spanish Devil by Bachus	3-Oct-03/9:36 PM
Cutting edge.
Re: Material Things by thatgirlaquarius	3-Oct-03/9:40 PM
Rockmage would dig this because it breaks the rules of function. A sentence ended? No period, but a capital. Numerous times. And the ellipsoidal to suggest that the thought is infinite. Genius. I want what you guys are smoking.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/9:42 PM
soft as an infant’s belly = cliche calm as a whisper = cliche
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-03/9:47 PM
"Survived on sequence" is a nice phrase and I like the "bellies blister" but the rest of the poem is uneven. When you keep the wording simple I think you have something, when you fall into 1) cliché and 2) using broad phrases like "life’s intricacy" the poem becomes hard to take in a literary sense.
Re: An Angel from Venice Disappears by DreamerSupreme	3-Oct-03/9:50 PM
Lovely. And such original thinking.
Re: Some follow marchers- others take time to understand it. by SupremeDreamer	4-Oct-03/7:37 PM
Lovely. And such original thinking.
Re: "Jump or Burn" by horus8	6-Oct-03/2:13 PM
Wow, top notch product placement. How much did you get paid sitting at your desk coming up with that one. $650? $850.
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Oct-03/10:40 PM
There is this bar in Fremantle, Little Creatures, that sits right along the water and if you stare long and hard enough you can see all the way across the ocean to Durban. Of course, the worlds may run parallel but are entirely different. You have seen one of these places. Now, for once, I hope you see the other. But as far as the poem above here, you make the worst mistake ever: what is IT?????????????????????????????????????????? Other than that, I quite disagree with the others here and like the flow and like the wording. But what is IT????????????????????????? Talk to me!!!!!!!
Re: Squeeze it out... by mrpresident	6-Oct-03/10:43 PM
Sad. So many good things can be conjured on the throne and this is what you come up with. It is not even funny. You must be 14 and still laugh when you fart.