Let’s see:

Line 1: cliché
Line: 2: cliché
Line 3: cliché
Line 4: what are you 14?
Line 5: vague and bordering cliché
Line6: cliché
Line 7/8: see Line 4.
Line: 9 cliché
Line 10: See line 4.
Line 11: why not ev’r more for effect, I mean the poem is shit anyway, might as well go all the way.
Line 12: it’s “it’” – also see line 4.
Line 13/14/15: could be good if not leaning toward cliché
Line 16: stupid. See line 4.

Other than that lovely. And such original thinking.

Watch out for dry sockets. Still, I guess I am not up for odes to teeth.

Beat us over the head. Go ahead. Beat us.

Good stuff, but I think you can snip away to get it flowing better. I'd cut "This" from the title. Cut "thin" from the "wink of moon" - good line by the way. Little things like that.

Cutting edge!!!!!!!! Super!!!!!!

So what.

Good title. Works from beginning to end. Don't listen to the girl formerly know as Z.

Considering it is painfully obvious from your imagery that you have never hunted before and are relying of clichéd observations from your past and maybe the dictionary, the fact that you use it as the base metaphor for what you are trying to say is, how I should put this, ridiculous. Thanks for you time. Rally other than that it is quite lovely. And such original thinking.

Daring!!!!! Original!~!!! Super!!!!

The fact that Z has to send/post a picture of the event for the poem to really to take hold hurts the poem. Maybe you could give the reader just a bit more to make it make sense of what and why it (i.e. “Nature” is being said. I am afraid that the name just doesn’t cut it. Of course, I am sure hatter’s hare will disagree, but what does she know, she only drinks pilsner. I think we get that idea when we look at the picture, but alone I think the poem fails. Initially I was afraid you had holed up in the john with a tattered copy of “Iron John”.

Is this a poem or simply a collection of statements with a tag line at the end? I need to know.

See the Bitch! poem comment of using a title as a final tag line and ultimately a young cop out for a poem that would probably work better as a lyric.

Are you serious about this?

Rather straight forward and not wholly original by any means, but not bad. I would curb the didactic diddling toward the end.

I felt like I just read the longest sentence in the world. Why commas and no periods? Why is the title also the first line? Excellent last line, but some of the thinking seems incomplete and the transitions could uses tightening. Other than that – good work.

Hey fat boy, ride a real bike.

Nice title I guess, but the poem just didn't hit what you were after. Of course, rockmage would probably disagree.

What the hell did you guys smoke in Niagara? Was it you that jumped the falls and survived. Did you bang your head? Did you?

I called the number. They said you got married and left the country. I cried for two days. Not because of the being kicked out or even the fact that you got married and I told you I would come back from Enid just after the first snow in Oklahoma. You promised me things. I promised myself things. And now what are we left with. H8 as our love child. Three day old leftovers from the Boston Market. Memories of Amsterdam in the springtime. I feel cold and dirty and just a little bit lost. But mostly cold.

You may be a good poet (as evidenced by this fine dandy), and maybe I would like to see you naked while you read it, but I still hate you.