regarding some deleted poem...	6-Oct-03/10:47 PM
Good title. Works from beginning to end. Don't listen to the girl formerly know as Z.
Re: Drug Addict by SupremeDreamer	20-Oct-03/2:05 PM
Let’s see: Line 1: cliché Line: 2: cliché Line 3: cliché Line 4: what are you 14? Line 5: vague and bordering cliché Line6: cliché Line 7/8: see Line 4. Line: 9 cliché Line 10: See line 4. Line 11: why not ev’r more for effect, I mean the poem is shit anyway, might as well go all the way. Line 12: it’s “it’” – also see line 4. Line 13/14/15: could be good if not leaning toward cliché Line 16: stupid. See line 4. Other than that lovely. And such original thinking.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Oct-03/9:43 PM
Watch out for dry sockets. Still, I guess I am not up for odes to teeth.
Re: Decay by INTRANSIT	20-Oct-03/9:50 PM
Beat us over the head. Go ahead. Beat us.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Oct-03/9:54 PM
Good stuff, but I think you can snip away to get it flowing better. I'd cut "This" from the title. Cut "thin" from the "wink of moon" - good line by the way. Little things like that.
Re: When I say I'm a 14 yr old girl I mean 75 year old man by Shardik	20-Oct-03/10:04 PM
Cutting edge!!!!!!!! Super!!!!!!
Re: You'd sell more hats, mugs, and shirts if they said... by Shardik	20-Oct-03/10:42 PM
So what.
Re: Mr. America (Hunting Season) by SupremeDreamer	21-Oct-03/7:10 PM
Considering it is painfully obvious from your imagery that you have never hunted before and are relying of clichéd observations from your past and maybe the dictionary, the fact that you use it as the base metaphor for what you are trying to say is, how I should put this, ridiculous. Thanks for you time. Rally other than that it is quite lovely. And such original thinking.
Re: Evel Knievel's last bananna split    by horus8	21-Oct-03/7:11 PM
Daring!!!!! Original!~!!! Super!!!!
Re: Toku by Bill Z Bub	21-Oct-03/7:16 PM
The fact that Z has to send/post a picture of the event for the poem to really to take hold hurts the poem. Maybe you could give the reader just a bit more to make it make sense of what and why it (i.e. “Nature” is being said. I am afraid that the name just doesn’t cut it. Of course, I am sure hatter’s hare will disagree, but what does she know, she only drinks pilsner. I think we get that idea when we look at the picture, but alone I think the poem fails. Initially I was afraid you had holed up in the john with a tattered copy of “Iron John”.
Re: bitch! by Freethinker1602	21-Oct-03/7:21 PM
Is this a poem or simply a collection of statements with a tag line at the end? I need to know.
Re: lame ass shit by FreeFormFixation	21-Oct-03/7:54 PM
See the Bitch! poem comment of using a title as a final tag line and ultimately a young cop out for a poem that would probably work better as a lyric.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Oct-03/9:46 PM
Are you serious about this?
Re: Nothing beat the 90's for An over view of American culture by Shardik	24-Oct-03/6:14 PM
Rather straight forward and not wholly original by any means, but not bad. I would curb the didactic diddling toward the end.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-03/6:17 PM
I felt like I just read the longest sentence in the world. Why commas and no periods? Why is the title also the first line? Excellent last line, but some of the thinking seems incomplete and the transitions could uses tightening. Other than that – good work.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-03/6:19 PM
Hey fat boy, ride a real bike.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-03/6:24 PM
Nice title I guess, but the poem just didn't hit what you were after. Of course, rockmage would probably disagree.
Re: rainfall saga 7 by Bill Z Bub	24-Oct-03/6:27 PM
What the hell did you guys smoke in Niagara? Was it you that jumped the falls and survived. Did you bang your head? Did you?
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-03/7:25 PM
I called the number. They said you got married and left the country. I cried for two days. Not because of the being kicked out or even the fact that you got married and I told you I would come back from Enid just after the first snow in Oklahoma. You promised me things. I promised myself things. And now what are we left with. H8 as our love child. Three day old leftovers from the Boston Market. Memories of Amsterdam in the springtime. I feel cold and dirty and just a little bit lost. But mostly cold.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Oct-03/7:28 PM
You may be a good poet (as evidenced by this fine dandy), and maybe I would like to see you naked while you read it, but I still hate you.