Re: I smell coffee by Princess_Snowflake	23-Jan-05/3:47 PM
one year later, this pome still gives me a giant hard-on. Princess_Snowflake, you are the bestest lolita poetess on the net!
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Jan-05/4:17 PM
I besmirch thee, cover thy rod lest onlookers think our trysting odd I besmirch thee, show me thy way let us share these pleasures gay I besmirch thee, wipe thy face quickly, wipe away every trace I besmirch thee, cleanse me I wish not to soil thee I besmirch thee, as I besmirched thy neighbour, Plunging deeply like pangs of false labour I besmirch thee, guide me Deep within, gently slide me I besmirch thee, protect me 'till the clinic has on the morrow checked me I besmirch thee, give me contrition in your face, as you lap my emission I besmirch thee, give me sorrow for sin give me tears as I burrow within I besmirch thee, give me submission of will So your every desire I may fulfill I besmirch thee, give me anything I need give me bucks and whinnies, my precious steed So that everything I do, O Gord is moving me toward a glistening reward Therefore I besmirch thee O Gord, I besmirch every inch of your splendid sword Gord I ask you to give these things to me if it is against Thy will, if need not be Give me only thee.
Re: UFO by Dovina	23-Jan-05/4:25 PM
I understand this sentiment all too well. And few new mysteries arise to replace those lost. On another note, did you read about the group that developed an ink jet printer that can print swaths of human skin? They say bits of bone are next, and then organs. Of course, you realize: ready or not, "Print-A-Pet" is coming.
Re: Have You Ever Been In Love? by Katie	23-Jan-05/4:40 PM
no Katie, sadly I've never been in love :( I think probably few people here have ever been in love. Love is quite rare, and you are fortunate indeed to have experienced it. But though we may not experience cloud-walking, moonlight-embracing love itself, we are blessed to have you describe it for us, so that we may experience it vicariously. Perhaps someday I will experience love, before I die. For now I can only solace myself with 10 dollar blowjobs from cheap whores and excessive masturbation, and -- occasionally, delightfully -- a brief second-hand glimpse of love when narrated by blesséd souls such as yourself. P.S. It's been more than an entire fucking year, fix your spelling mistake you mindless bint.
Re: Half a dozen by thepinkbunnyofdoom	24-Jan-05/12:09 PM
She has half a dozen pink roses? What, exactly, does she have one extra of?
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Jan-05/4:53 PM
jesus christ, crystal. This is almost a pome! What's gotten into you? First stanza intrigued me. Last two lines are good too, and "broken roses"
Re: On the Discovery of Cinder Cats and The Road More Traveled by MacFrantic	31-Jan-05/5:05 PM
There was a reader who claimed his frustration because twixt the limericks there was no relation. But he shouldn't complain -- for 't'ain't all who can claim they witnessed dada's revivification!
Re: Depth of Illusion by Beyond_Dreams	31-Jan-05/5:18 PM
Hmm, so just what IS this "depth of illusion" painter's muse? an allusion? delusion? ..ah no, it's in BD's pants, you see it's his little fantasy -- that he has while he rubs his protrusion.
Re: POEM FOR PREPS by Brittanyy	31-Jan-05/5:47 PM
Here's a girly with multiple letters, in her name, scorifying her "betters". But of course she's just jealous, she'd love having some fellas -- if she'd only the bits to go get hers!
Re: James The Dashing Pirate by thepinkbunnyofdoom	1-Feb-05/5:16 AM
This is excellent. Ending every stanza with a period hurts it. You didn't edit or work on it after writing it, did you? A little effort could tighten up the rhyming scheme. And fix "your" => you're. (this constantly slips through my fingers too, it drives me nuts)
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-05/5:35 AM
I liked this quite a lot. Didn't seem too long to me at all; in fact I enjoyed all the little details. "until the airbag suggested he stop" is great. You're a geek*, aren't you? I can tell... Don't like the title -- it does relate well to the structure of the pome but unfortunately has this long history as a cliché for romantic sufferrers. got a better one? I supposed it does suffer a little from being very recognizably in that late 20th century lit journal poetry voice, but you do it so very well. *I mean geek in the ESR sense, of course, not the high school name-calling sense
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Feb-05/9:13 AM
Another fine plea from crystal for someone to fulfil her fantasy of being cooked and eaten. "Anger boils, but I am compelled to hedge, Of my heart, you will forever own a wedge. I did it again! (made cannibalism a metaphor for unrequited love)"
Re: A Thing I Must Do by Dovina	2-Feb-05/4:15 PM
This is really good. I liked the first two stanzas, particularly the second. I didn't like so much the meta-commentary of the last 7 lines. If you are serious about this one, try rewriting the last half a few times and see if you can stay in the image more and let the image make the commentary. (it's the old show not tell. First two stanzas are Very Good showing. Last two are more telling)
Re: Enrapture by fevriere	3-Feb-05/1:37 PM
Very clever, and quite sweet. A grace note indeed.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Feb-05/1:55 PM
Hey, this is a poem! Your same old theme, but this time with images, illustrating your feelings instead of haranguing us with them. Well done. You need to work on the last line of the penultimate stanza; filling is not the right word. You could change "where" to "that", and it would then be grammatically correct, but that would weaken the repetition. Instead search for a more appropriate verb.
Re: Dying Abroad by zodiac	3-Feb-05/2:22 PM
Loved it. Beautiful and wistful. God I'm a sucker for wistful. I think you're channeling "Anonymous" again in this piece, lol, it's got that timeless feel (You know, Anonymous the "small rain" guy) kill "slip sibilant." It's clever & reflexive -- which is completely out of place in the mood of the piece. Perhaps I agree the last fractious line oughtn't be so altered. I'm not sure. Suppose you could say something like "with the feeling your home, girl,...". But you've certainly earned the right to mess with forms however you like...
Re: A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	3-Feb-05/2:28 PM
I liked the apples line very much. It's like one of those delightful, bursting with child-like joy unexepected lines eec was so good at surprising you with.
Re: You took my half dozen by poodietat	6-Feb-05/4:53 AM
far more interesting than the posts it is in reaction to. Great fun as an in-joke on societate de wanker. But it also stands alone, with that Bukowskian last line.
Re: just can't by shygirl1619	6-Feb-05/5:10 PM
A shy girl who was recently dumped On PR with her poetry jumped. We'll do nothing but damn her For spelling and grammar And rhyme have -- like love -- got her stumped.
Re: Paris 1941-63 by Mister Cakes	8-Feb-05/3:39 PM
He spent 22 years in a sock? Champs-Elysées with some French dude named Jacques? Unless "sock" is a metaphor, For the crucial part of a whore -- In which case Mister Cakes is a cock.