replying on Grieving by d35
25 Jan 2004, 11:48 AM
If it isn't gown, it should be. But I think he means ground.
replying on Martyrs in suburbia - (we wander like breezes) by zodiac
25 Jan 2004, 10:43 AM
Good call on the TO in the second stanza. I might risk losing my two - that's right, two! - 10s to change it. Otherwise all later readers will just have to consider it there. The immortal catechesis is a little odd, not a metaphor for poemranker per se, but a metaphor for growing up Catholic (and a serious one) with the expectation that being burned at a stake is better than, say, sitting on the hood of a car at night drinking Coronas.
replying on the small drop by richa
25 Jan 2004, 9:50 AM
Yeah. guess I'll stick with only semi-topical comments.
on A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus
25 Jan 2004, 8:45 AM
The title needs changing. Possibly just to 'The Blossom Tree'? Just a suggestion. Notice I'm still giving you a ten.
on The Upside-Down Frown by fevriere
25 Jan 2004, 8:38 AM
You win the coveted 'Golden Spiral-bound Notebook' for the day if CLS/Lydia-Evelyn and Princess Snowflake don't post. It comes with a purple wobble pen.
on A Glass of Water by Princess_Snowflake
25 Jan 2004, 8:34 AM
And I felt good about the 10 you gave me, rockmage, until I started counting all the 10s you've given other people recently. What do you do when a poem is not say-nothing fluff like this? Do you have an 11 in reserve?
on A Glass of Water by Princess_Snowflake
25 Jan 2004, 8:31 AM
This is not a limerick.
on the small drop by richa
25 Jan 2004, 8:28 AM
Good as always. Comments: 1.) the comma after 'water' shouldn't be there. Maybe you could put a line break there instead. 2.) there should be some kind of punctuation after the end of the first stanza 3.) 'a sunlight' is weird when just 'they were sunlight' would be just as good. You get a nine because, though it's not perfect, it's better than all the crap getting unwarranted 9s and 10s on this site.
on P.M.S. by Princess_Snowflake
25 Jan 2004, 4:32 AM
I can't believe you reposted this.
replying on The Grandfather Suite by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
24 Jan 2004, 9:54 PM
Sorry - who again ARE you?
>>>>>
tomcheese@hotmail.com
subscribed to chat@poemranker.com
...
Location: canada
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Last poems posted:
what's behind a plop 24-Jan-04/10:40 AM
NN 19-Dec-03/2:41 AM
horus8 you have a lot of explaining to do 18-Dec-03/4:23 PM
>>>>>
tomcheese@hotmail.com
subscribed to chat@poemranker.com
...
Location: canada
...
Last poems posted:
what's behind a plop 24-Jan-04/10:40 AM
NN 19-Dec-03/2:41 AM
horus8 you have a lot of explaining to do 18-Dec-03/4:23 PM
replying on Sci-fi ode to poemranker nicknames by zodiac
24 Jan 2004, 9:45 PM
Jesus is a Greek nickname for a Hebrew. And who the hell do you think you are? If you can explain without nicknames or hiding behind your oh-so-liberating internet anonymity, then this poem isn't about you. Besides, it's obviously just a sci-fi story idea too weak to put into prose with a quirky only-halfway-related title.
I was cool until "left over from the war." Are you serious? And if you are, still don't say that. The best part is the first stanza. And if you're wondering why I gave yellowtail a 9 for a poem with one of those accented past-tenses ('claspèd') and you got just an 8 it's because I assume yellowtail is an adolescent and (as of now) that you are not.
replying on Sci-fi ode to poemranker nicknames by zodiac
23 Jan 2004, 12:10 PM
There was an earlier and longer version with an extended conversation between Blake and a Baron von Goering (seriously) that dark angel would have gotten and nobody else, including myself. I'm glad it's dead. And yes, it does suck to endlessly comment on your own posts.
replying on Sci-fi ode to poemranker nicknames by zodiac
23 Jan 2004, 12:08 PM
I have to say (reading it now after 9 hours of hideous MA comps) that it does have a kind of logic to it. Even more, maybe, than I thought when I deliriously wrote it this morning.
on His Master's Jodhpurs by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
23 Jan 2004, 12:03 PM
I meant to say it doesn't sound like Poe. Sounds like Burns and Joyce (of course) but better. Poe was too clumsy, even in the dark tarn of Auber poem which I can't remember the name of now. And I think Jodhpurs is a great touch and don't know enough about Briticisms to know if you made it up or not.
on His Master's Jodhpurs by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
23 Jan 2004, 12:00 PM
Perfect. Put periods at the ends of the stanzas and a bow in its hair and send out into the street to the tune of a jig. Tomorrow it may drown itself in the Liffey, but tonight there's only tonight and infinite possibilities for love.
replying on Sci-fi ode to poemranker nicknames by zodiac
23 Jan 2004, 11:53 AM
You're own of the old-time mythmakers. I'm going to read some of your posts. Sorry for taking so long about it.
on Crystal Lane Swift by Matthew Bennett
23 Jan 2004, 8:04 AM
There's already an extensive commentary on the subject at
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
on Sonnet For a Porn Star by mikejedw
21 Jan 2004, 12:51 PM
First line's not pentameter. Otherwise good.