Limerick № 80165
The Grandfather Suite
Grandfather's Beard
Grandfather has an old beard.
With butter 'tis lavishly smear'd.
When Grandfather died,
It shrivel'd and dried,
But still to his dead face adher'd.
Grandfather's Eye
Grandfather's lifeless red eye
Can through walls all naughty deeds spy.
If you bare your lip,
You may earn a trip
To the bony expanse of his thigh.
Grandfather's Vest
Grandfather's vest, brown of leather,
Secretes a brown scent in wet weather.
I once took a smell
And was forcef'lly propell'd
To the end of my safe-keeping tether!!
Grandfather's Stump
Grandfather's stump, it is rumour'd,
Has three rows of teeth, and a tumour.
No-one has seen it,
Or ever dared clean it,
Or even approach'd his stain'd bloomers.
Grandfather's Box
What's inside Grandfather's box?
Why has it so many locks?
Perhaps it is owls!
Perhaps it is jowls!
Perhaps it is balm for his socks.
24 comments
He kept time with the hall clock's slow tickin'
It wasn't the pain
That made us insane
But so long to his stump to be stickin'
He said, holding me close to his chest
I stayed deathly still
'till his snores sounded shrill
and I could unstick my face from his vest.
There is no Grandmother.
And all of his bad habits constrained
But it took her some time
To get him in line
And he'd long since all carpets bestained.
>>>>>
tomcheese@hotmail.com
subscribed to chat@poemranker.com
...
Location: canada
...
Last poems posted:
what's behind a plop 24-Jan-04/10:40 AM
NN 19-Dec-03/2:41 AM
horus8 you have a lot of explaining to do 18-Dec-03/4:23 PM
I would urge you to keep an eye on the IP address associated with whichever -=Dark_Angel=- you happen to be conversing with. I'd like you to know that I would never mock you as 131.111.212.215 just has, because I respect you as a writer, actor, musician, and, most importantly, a father. 131.111.212.215 is neither a writer, an actor, a musician, nor a father, though he did once mess his pants during a P.E lesson and had to go home early.
Furthermore, he has a giant congenital deformity on his face that he tries to cover up with Bounty wrappers and Pritt Stick, and he is an arse ploughman. Thanks!
10th October 1999
Hi <163.1.146.87>,
I don't know what to say - I feel awful. It's been really bad for me since the... accident, and I don't know if I can handle school for much longer. All the other kids gang up on me, especially the ones who were... underneath the parallel bars at the time. Last night I cried myself to sleep, and had a terrible dream about a mystery boy who did a poo in his brand new red underpants during a double squat dismount from a set of parallel bars. And then when I woke up I realised that the mystery boy was me, and that I wouldn't be seeing my brand new pair of red underpants ever again. Anyway that's my winge over with. Guess I'll catch you later,
<131.111.212.215>
To: Matthew Bennett <XXXXX>
Date: Thu, 22 Jan 2004 19:43:39 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: Re: Tears of Sorrow
Oh god please tell me you didn't tell Justin what I said, you know how I feel about him. :(
Anyway in response to your question no I don't think Jeremi is cool I think he's a massive dork.
cya
--
WoundedSoul44 woundedsoul44@hotmail.com
"Death is like the pure fading sun falling upon the black scales of a dragon on a crystallised winter's night" -- Kurt Cobain
Your conversation was becoming dangerously wacky, so I had nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
other times........
not so much.
Log in to add a comment.