Re: Dying breed by INTRANSIT	8-May-05/10:52 PM
Really great. I think you mean "Broken", not "Boken", but I could be wrong. Also, "country's" instead of "countrys". Have you read E. Annie Proulx's short story "Brokeback Mountain"? It offers an interesting theory as to why cowboys are a dying breed.
Re: Agoraphobia in a Secret Garden by darylchew	8-May-05/11:01 PM
Drop the word "Secret" from the title. The Garden of Eden isn't exactly secret, especially considering the earth's entire human population at the time knew about it.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-May-05/11:04 PM
Is this another poem about America? Man, you're remarkably up on our current events - or, no, wait. You're not. And anyway, isn't your part of Europe responsible for both "Nogger Black" and "Negerkuss" ice cream bars?
Re: Strings by Fayt	8-May-05/11:10 PM
1) Why have you added this poem to your favorites list? 2) This is absurd. Simply absurd. 3) And as far as "an idea beyond any other" goes - well, it's not. There've been lots of silly people covering this ground before you, and better.
Re: Old Friend by Dovina	8-May-05/11:12 PM
The first two lines are straight from crystal lane swift. The rest is good.
Re: My Best Friend, 1985 by jessicazee	10-May-05/3:17 AM
This poem is remarkably like My Life in the MidEast, 2005.
Re: Waiting to be Consumed by Alizarin_Crimson	10-May-05/3:19 AM
This was good, right up to "She is a blander confection".
Re: Gone Forever (in loving memory of a teacher) by Princess_Snowflake	10-May-05/3:20 AM
"He was around when he was alive" What exactly does that mean?
regarding some deleted poem...	10-May-05/3:20 AM
Make some of these into real sentences.
Re: The cry of the Locust by nothingtoanyone	10-May-05/3:29 AM
Dear Christ. You can't say "Now thy will hold everything". You can say, "Now thou willest hold everything", or "Now thou wilst hold everything", or "Now thy will holds everything". But you probably shouldn't. Also, "strikith" should be "striketh". And why are you talking like some drunken Cotton Mather?
Re: stumbling into love by sungoesdown	10-May-05/3:30 AM
"stumling" should be "stumbling".
Re: a 9,000.00$ Philippine script treatment by Shardik	11-May-05/4:59 AM
This is excellent. I might possibly give head to see a good movie about Filipinos.
Re: Mid Years by Dovina	11-May-05/6:09 AM
I find relationships a more-certain way to have sex more often, and at minimal cost. Am I just that young?
Re: White by Enkidu	13-May-05/5:14 AM
Black (free verse) by Blackidu Dear Massa, We is black but is we safe and soun'? Why's you allus keepin' us down? Is it cause we's brown?
Re: Nesting Instinct of Women by Dovina	14-May-05/1:52 AM
This is absurd. You're either talking without properly thinking again or you should build yourself a cardboard box and tape yourself inside. You're going to say, I expected you to say that. Guess what? I expected you to say that. You're going to get me wrong, I'm sure, so listen: I'm ALL ABOUT writing about women existing without men, believe me. In 99% of the cases I can imagine, it'd be absurd and fascist to read something that gives men no influence and say, hey where're the men? But seriously, the construct in this poem is beyond belief. That said, yes, of course, the virgin is most likely sealed in her egg/pupal-thingy/honeycomb-cell by a woman, her mother; the metaphor carries through. And okay, the being wakened by sisters' wings is a little Showtimey/Amazonian, but I can dig. After that it just gets nuts. The thing she fears to leave the honeycomb/cell for (in the bee-image AND the metaphor for people) is the sexual encounter. With a man. Seriously. Even if she's a gay bee, leaving-the-nest fear is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS at its root man-centered. The whole show, the mothers sealing their girls in the egg and everything, is made by and for the benefit of men. Yes, you could be saying that; but if you are, you're doing it in about the fruitest and least-useful way imaginable. Same with the "duty" she has to do. On both the nature AND human levels, the duty is to become impregnated and return home to rear children, probably by a sexual encounter that will be anything but pleasurable to her. Incidentally, that means the wind you're talking about that draws her from her course is exactly her duty, so what ARE you talking about? Now, let's backtrack a little. Maybe she's a particularly enlightened bee and the duty she's leaving the hive for is, I don't know, to become an executive, or travel the world seeking wisdom and well-being. Then she gets blown off course and runs smack into a manbee's ready cock and it's all over. Right? Do you think either of those are particularly enlightened ideas to write poems about? Yeah, if you live in the 19th century. In either event, you have a woman fearing (and by extension centering her existence around) sexual encounter with a man. Sure, that's a reality for the majority of women, but why write a poem about so uselessly euphemistic about it? And here's the kicker: she can return to the honeycomb when she wants. Hey, great! No, wait. That's EXACTLY what the fucking manbee wants when he's done with her, biologically and metaphorically. Again, yes it's true. But WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY write about it like this? Do you condone the whole scenario? No? It sounds like it. How about this one instead? Woman bee smacks into manbee's cock; copulation ensues; maybe it's not great for her; the SHE FLIES ON ABOUT HER BUSINESS. Wouldn't that be nice? PS-Scientifical accuracy alert.
Re: Nesting Instinct of Women by Dovina	14-May-05/2:06 AM
PPS- re: "leaving-the-nest fear is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS at its root man-centered." Also, "[her] duty is to become impregnated and return home to rear children." It's going to be the easiest thing in the world for you to say something like, yeah you like to think so you mancentric pig. Let's make sure we're on the same page: No, of course I don't like to think so. It sucks. But I don't see any harm in keeping it as ONE way of looking at MOST human and animal interactions (as long as it's understood I mean "biologically or originally, as with bees and cavepeople, and only in a vestigial way with modern people, her duty is to..."). And I do see a lot of harm in avoiding it simply because it sounds kind of distasteful. Also, I'm not pulling this out of my ass. These are standard things held to be true by most feminist scholars, irrespective of gender. No, that doesn't mean you have to take their (or my) word for it. But where's your clearly-articulated and well-supported worldview, then? Why don't you try writing it down? I'm in the market for a new one.
Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT	17-May-05/5:54 AM
'genes' should be 'jeans' or 'them'.
Re: Bookends by INTRANSIT	17-May-05/6:02 AM
"genious" is genius. I hope it was on purpose.
Re: Forever by Dovina	17-May-05/6:12 AM
Do you really see a distinction between "Long live the king" and "May the king live forever"? What? I mean, I know you say one is what people who like the king shout, and the other is what people who love the king shout, but really. Maybe you need another traditional thing for shouting at people. Here are some Arabic ones: "God save you from the fire!" "May you never taste spicy food!" "God willing, you will shit oil!"
Re: Making a Mark by andrew barnes	27-May-05/2:17 AM
There is no reason to believe some art from our time won't make it past the next epic disaster. Um, proto-human art DID survive the last ice age. Of course, most of that was just interestingly shaped rocks. I thought "stray nuclear warhead" was funny, though. Like it was just looking for the loo and got lost.