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The cry of the Locust (Free verse) by nothingtoanyone
Glazed eyes Flat and hollow Deflated by the quarrels of time. Speechless windows From a place long forgotten. Shells that once held everything under beauty and power. Up rise the furry, and strikith down upon you, The weight of many troubles and the worry of a thousand souls. Now thy will hold everything on a string with only one supporting finger. Feel the burden ,FEEL, the craving ever so strong. Feel the desire to break free of the ringing in your ears.

Down the ladder: Secret Love

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.537883
Overall Rank: 2595
Posted: May 3, 2005 2:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 9, 2005 2:53 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] zodiac @ 213.186.177.137 | 10-May-05/3:29 AM | Reply
Dear Christ.

You can't say "Now thy will hold everything". You can say, "Now thou willest hold everything", or "Now thou wilst hold everything", or "Now thy will holds everything". But you probably shouldn't.

Also, "strikith" should be "striketh". And why are you talking like some drunken Cotton Mather?
[10] Hallmark @ 129.12.235.73 | 10-May-05/10:11 AM | Reply
Is line 6 a call to all bearded people.
Beards can be weighty can't they
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.62.63 | 10-May-05/11:29 AM | Reply
I once struck down upon my vagina with the furry of cotex, staunching the vile bile that creepeth forth.
thank god my clitoris was wearing a helmet.
[6] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 10-May-05/12:59 PM | Reply
Overwritten for what it says.
Why introduce the King James English?
The last line is good.
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