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Waiting to be Consumed (Free verse) by Alizarin_Crimson
She told me that if I was a desert, I'd have to be something dark chocolate, with raspberry I'm intense like that, I am "too much with everything". Imagine my juicy berry meat, slightly tart, engulfed in velvet layers of dark chocolate, my sweet brown soil Most can't handle too much at once, I’m to be savored in slow, careful bites between the walls of your mouth, seduction, exquisite dual decadence I'm the stuff behind the counter, the stuff that makes them blush. She is a blander confection, some sweet, spongy mass full of fat and good intentions the kind you eat by the spoonful, swallow her down with a glass of milk. Every night, her honey comes home to roost, gets folded into her warm sheets. He never tires of her softness, her reliability, gentle nature, with light peaks of fragility While alone, on my plate, I seethe I offer no refuge; I am a vortex of complexity and richness waiting, I suppose, for Odysseus or the most starving man in the world.

Up the ladder: 10/8
Down the ladder: Sandia Plain

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Weighted score: 5.029801
Overall Rank: 7318
Posted: May 3, 2005 2:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 9, 2005 8:08 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 9-May-05/8:23 PM | Reply
This is fun, but also a bit nauseating. The last four lines are very nice. The first one is a bit confusing because all of a sudden SHE appears to be a desert as well...
'

[10] zodiac @ 213.186.177.137 | 10-May-05/3:19 AM | Reply
This was good, right up to "She is a blander confection".
[4] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.40.85 | 21-May-06/10:56 AM | Reply
Wordy but amusing in its own way.
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