Re: What Does it Mean to be Human by Sterling5583	25-Aug-02/11:17 AM
Sometimes we Gods envy you humans. You may want to correct the misspelling of equation in the 2nd line. I can't put my finger on it but it needs some more development. I just woke up I'll try looking at it again later. 5
Re: Sweet Dreams by MistressSnow	25-Aug-02/11:10 AM
You got question marks were your astericks should be.
Re: Sunshine by alexander	25-Aug-02/11:08 AM
You're so positive. Wonderful. I've been through some trials just like everyone else so this philosphy of striving for happiness is near an dear. 10
Re: Glory Bound by kazeaki	25-Aug-02/10:55 AM
Last 3 lines exemplify the power of good poetry. Much in little. Meditative. Makes me feel worthwhile. I get stuck on the idea of glory having victims. 7
Re: Life's Motive by kazeaki	25-Aug-02/10:35 AM
If it's left to think too long, or if it's allowed too think to long, in the 4th line would make it easier for the reader. The 3rd stanza is so strong it could even stand on it's own. 8
Re: CoffeeNoBody by webguy	25-Aug-02/10:29 AM
The use of the nouns as adjectives in lines 14 - 16 is inventive and works well. It conveyed to me the sense of seperation between body and soul. The 'are but' in line 2, and the 'are all but'in line 6, sound archaic in this contemporary poem. Maybe you placed it there as a contrast. It does kind of weigh the piece down a little. the last stanza ties the everything together. Nice train of thought. 8
Re: St. Germain & The Charismatically Uncomitted by <{Baba^Yaga}>	25-Aug-02/10:19 AM
This story is a festival of jocularity. It's sooo long, I don't know how you gentlemen get through the editing of these Epics. How these visions appear in your mind will also always be a mystery for me. My imaginations looks extremely jejune and humdrum standing next to yours. I going to assume you meant to spell Germain Germane, so this is pretty much flawless. I love the pageantry of it. I'm glad I took the time to read it. It broke the morning's tedium, and put a smile on my face. Thanks. 10
Re: Turnarounds by dilips_10	24-Aug-02/2:01 PM
I made a mistake. "amyn" is suppose to be many. Honestly!
Re: Turnarounds by dilips_10	24-Aug-02/1:58 PM
Honesty makes up for so amyn mistakes. 8
Re: constructed word poem #6 by david	24-Aug-02/10:52 AM
silent but hesitant doesn't gell. can't something be silent and hesitant? otherwise 7
Re: she did not by mitchski	24-Aug-02/10:43 AM
Her eyes seemed borrowed conveys alot of information. I appriciate that kind of frugality. In my overly critized oppinion this could be a better short story then poem. On second thought your use of {she does not,I did not} wouldn't translate. oh well keep it up. 7
Re: THEIR MOCCASINS by ani	24-Aug-02/10:19 AM
This is really swett,. You should develop it into a story. It has the ring of Lore to it. I'd love to see you add some more scenes of the couple together in their first life. You know, little vignettes. 10
Re: Tainted by necroscope7	24-Aug-02/10:08 AM
the thing I like best is your descreetness it not stating what the taintor is, Could be any kind of vice. You'll has a typo and mixing of the metaphors clean with fire is considered wrong in most circles but if you're comfortable with it then leave it. 7
Re: One by ben	24-Aug-02/9:59 AM
Your poetry is like a babbling brook of insightful wisdom. 10
Re: One by ben	24-Aug-02/9:59 AM
Your poetry is like a babbling brook of insightful wisdom. 10
Re: Black Buns by Bachus	24-Aug-02/9:05 AM
This wetback spic thinks your writing loves her. Esos monos negros son unos pinchi putos! Ole!
Re: The Ultimate~Creep goes to Mecca! by Bachus	24-Aug-02/8:42 AM
Contributing to truth telling is a vile and irresponsible thing to do. Soon the state will be forced to crash land in your living room for upsetting the local livestock. They've been eating less and less of the Company chow. Ummm. There's nothing like ma's microwave reheating. She can peel back the film like no other. No thanks, I'll have dinner in my own room again tonight, I don't want to watch what you're watching. There's a story on E! about a crazy cyber-poet who died mysteriously of an overdose. No, I don't believe in conspiracy theories. He was a lunatic nobody, and the people who chatted with him on Das Internet say he was bound to self distruct, anyone could tell he had mental problems. I don't want to miss it
Re: Why I want to kill Opie by Bachus	24-Aug-02/1:58 AM
not a poem but great. Facista anyone?
Re: Dragons by austimb	24-Aug-02/1:46 AM
Ahhh! My barbut's on fire. 0
Re: The box by Ming T. Merciless	24-Aug-02/1:36 AM
Bemuda?????