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Tainted (Free verse) by necroscope7 Dark in thought
Heavy of soul
Every day
You fight the pull
But escape is not to be
No help to be found
Destroying yourself
As you go round and round
Something is wrong
And it won?t go away
It was there all along
Since that damnable day
You try to atone
But your conscience denies it
You?ll never be clean
That fire has already been lit
One act has doomed
One who may have been sainted
Now you sit used
Thrown away and tainted
Up the ladder:
My Ease
Down the ladder:
Reverie
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.7272725
Posted: June 6, 2002 7:49 AM PDT; Last modified: June 6, 2002 7:50 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.8636365 Overall Rank: 10366 Comments:
[6]
deleted user @ 172.155.182.7
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12-Jun-02/9:02 PM
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Reply
Although I would like to say something rude about your poem, it is clear that you aren't a naive poet . This poem is extraordinary, I like it.
Wow, thanks, I appreciate the compliment. I know I can be a bit harsh at times with my own comments, but i just try to be honest and straightforward, as i would hope for anyone else to be with me. i know my writing is farfrom perfect, and if people don't like it I want to know and i want to know why. It can be hard not to take it personally, but I know it will help to make me better at my craft in the long run. so in the same vein I hold no punches. maybe I make some people not like me, but hopefully by being honest I can help them to learn from things and become better themselves.
My comments can seem harsh at times. But that's only because I am deliberately trying to insult you. I hope that this will give me great pleasure and hell, we might even learn a thing or two about self-esteem along the way.
the thing I like best is your descreetness it not stating what the taintor is, Could be any kind of vice. You'll has a typo and mixing of the metaphors clean with fire is considered wrong in most circles but if you're comfortable with it then leave it. 7
your overwrought rhymes destroys what you might have had hear
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