| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
My days work (Free verse) by lucky_cmc A days work has just been completed
And what do I have to show it my aching feet,
my sore back, and my sore hands.
My days work has been complete.
I finish practicing and i clean my room,
Hey, I even looked over music that I probably can't play
But I feel complete with a very good tired.
My sleepy eyes and my hurt head.
I've finished what I had to do.
I finish my goal for today,
Maybe tomorrow will be easier.
But will see cause tomorrow is another day.
Up the ladder:
The Price
Down the ladder:
Chicken Tonight
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.1666667
Posted: July 29, 2002 6:15 PM PDT; Last modified: July 29, 2002 6:15 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.506941 Overall Rank: 12778 Comments:
[6]
horus8 @ 24.126.113.154
|
29-Jul-02/6:44 PM
|
Reply
your journal is in the second hand drawer on the left of your bed under the big jugs magazine and corn-nuts. could you please keep it out of my field of vision lest i be forced to apply my tongue like a canabalistic blind pigmy, head hunting little daydreamers to lick and read their acne scarred faces with my brail detecting tongue (my retard lashing flagella) i know where the short bus picks you up, and i have a highly accurate blowgun. beware of shifting bambo. and the hard blow.p
It'd be nice to see some colourful and descriptive language. It's too straightforward and mundane.
I feel you.I think there's nothing wrong with telling about your day but this is a poetry site.lol thats all I have to say.You know you still my homegirl.
I withdraw the hoof, and present you with sparrow beak, fear not my son it will grow hard and strong and fast..like a hawk...like a hawk headed god's beak. you have a humble heart, and are forgiven.
Whoooh! hold everything, sorry "divinity complex" leak. overdose...to much beak...go-in-g down. ha..ha.. scared you uh..i'm a quick little fucker, but never mind me kid let's talk about you. being bored's okay just put some fuckin passion into it, do it for hours as if it was your guitar or girlfriend. fucking write to save your life, or not at all. luv horus8 ps drink more wine.predator.eye.androgynous.hole
permit me to say this is barely articulate, if you want to get anywhere close to poetry. You're going to have to pay the big bucks. Cause after writing this you'll be lucky if they'll even allow you to read it. 0
um, this was not, to be frank, very good
a) we all have a days work to do, and you weren't really compelling enough to make me think yours was special 2)it was rather bland and run of the mill -lia 156 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
