Re: Coffle by Wulf	3-Feb-03/8:13 AM
Outstanding, thank you. We are all prisoners, and we all hold some part of the key. You touched me, brought me to tears. My tiny tiny almost irrelevant critizism is the repeated use of the words 'chained/chains' at the very beginning, otherwise perfect.
Re: a comment on Bein' Vegan by poetandknowit	3-Feb-03/8:05 AM
Which functions on the oppression and invasion of T-cells. Most people who "Aquire" it are oppressed individuals.
Re: Summer by MaliqaTara	2-Feb-03/6:25 PM
The only light at the end of any tunnel is a train. Get out of the way. ther is some honest and worthwhile emotion here, you just need to learn how to paint. I think your vision is strong.
Re: American Idol epiphany in haiku by Shardik	2-Feb-03/6:12 PM
The last stanza makes me so tremendously happy. the first, not as much. This is worthy of a more universal title.
Re: Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	2-Feb-03/6:05 PM
Exccelent, this.
Re: Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	28-Jan-03/9:38 PM
Underwater math is a beautifuL and novel idea.
Re: Sticks and Stones Farm, Pot Luck Thursday Nights by <~>	28-Jan-03/8:17 PM
First of all the title; Potluck, Thursday Nights That is a wonderful title, leaving things open and full of surprise. Last line first: out into the starlight The big stone barn shines warmth Tthrough the overhead glass doors. Never twice the same these steps we take. The gravel path through the cedars is ice tonight. I am the last to arrive. The dozer and the back-hoe loom Hazy orange Sleeping behind a sheet of insulating plastic They crouch there, in the makeshift hall Behind the roll down door Prehistoric shadows Like a playground for kids who don't listen. The table is set, and the food is almost ready. There are four meats, and no salad but nobody minds. Another log is thrown on the fire to keep us warm And I have brought winter ale. We dance after dinner, separating circles that overlap and reform, distortions in the same flow, dance ourselves a river each week. Never twice the same, these steps we trace. Dance, slide, swing and kick Socks off, crazy laughing. We make The rafters quake. .....That's it for now. You exhuast me. I really love this by the way. My clever girl, you are like a phone call to the twilight zone.
Re: a comment on Minoan lover by Jeremi B. Handrinos	28-Jan-03/12:34 AM
Tell me Billy-boy, why is it every other reply I get from you contains the word 'jealous'? What exactly makes you jealous? That I'm contemplating other men besides you? Are you becoming possessive? You puzzle me.
Re: The yellow rose of California by INTRANSIT	27-Jan-03/4:16 PM
Terrific, a good strong picture. Thou you need to rethink the first line and make this more personal. Pretend you have seen the flower, it sounds to me like she has touched you with her sad state. Is she me, perhaps? If she is and even if she isn't use what you know of me, or any other woman who fits this discription, to make this richer. Think in precise images. Get rid of 'and' before 'uproot'
Re: The Magical Hairy Chair by Nagi	27-Jan-03/12:32 AM
I was reading random poetry When suddenly one night I came upon the dumbest poem That ever caught my sight Some idiot just prattled on and made no sense at all He thought it funny to write rhymes about hair and genitals. He lead me down the garden path through a churchyard to a cellar He thought with laughter, I would collapse To read how he stroked his 'fella' Well let me tell you one last time I'm sick and tired of reading Of self abuse and penis juice And auto-inflicted beatings you boys are dumb Who speak of bums And Aids and prawns and brownings Stay away, go and get laid You're in serious need of mounting I'm bored of being victimized by your manipulation Practice is the proven cure For pre-mature ejaculation. It's obvious your cock is small No 'Bishop' as you claim your just some stunted acolyte You should be ashamed.
Re: flight (a poem written in high school) by Bill Z Bub	26-Jan-03/12:09 PM
My favorite so far. Quite different fromt he first draft. I love the rhyming, tips/cliffs. Could/earth. Really a first rate poem. Change 'dusty' to something truer, deeper. Something sadder, more poignant.
Re: a comment on Sticks and Stones Farm, Pot Luck Thursday Nights by <~>	25-Jan-03/10:52 PM
I don't know baby, I love it as is but I can see what you mean, she's fat, but she's sexy anyway. Some line break changes maybe, I can't do a thing right now, I'm overwhelmed with the fucking blossoms, I'm hanging my head out the window, literally, it's so fucking beautiful tonight I wish I could share it. It was 80 degrees today and the plants are going crazy. No moon, no breeze, just balmy and so much perfume.
Re: a comment on a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub	25-Jan-03/10:03 PM
Writing is everything. I too have been writing like mad. Crayons and pencils; anything handy, including napkins and junk mail envelopes. The potential is you, bottom line. Tell me a story. I am so hungry for a good story. Poetry has become somewhat a relic. My good sweet William, your heart, your heart is alive with it, so tell me everthing, let's go for a ride. First of all get rid of anything that can not transend For example Kindergarten Computers? Too much yours and yours alone. Anything that has the word 'of ' in it needs to be carefully scrutinized. No ' of's ' if possible. and also should be eliminated "there's nothing to it" is a beautiful line I repeat it to myself like a prayer "Even on the news I look for them Feet up on boxes I am paid to be opening A click through 100 channels Maybe But I doubt it". Write your prose. Give me your sugar.
Re: Why my cock attracts idiots by horus8	25-Jan-03/11:40 AM
You are the unfortunate victim of great looks, great energy, and an intriguing mind. Everybody wants you, it's true, and you have no boundries. You are a PRIEST you just refuse to take your place at the altar. it's so very hard to say no, there's no fun in it. Time to post a poem for you.
Re: Sticks and Stones Farm, Pot Luck Thursday Nights by <~>	24-Jan-03/8:45 AM
Really lovely, a very fine picture can you switch the last two lines around somehow? the second line sounds more like the last note of a sweet sad song.
Re: The Other Side of Me by Quarton	24-Jan-03/12:05 AM
Excellent. Solitude is the poets Eden. A very fine poem, not my cup od tea but beyond rebuke.
Re: a comment on The last day of an old year by poetandknowit	23-Jan-03/11:12 PM
Well than the word must stay. I can't even imagine the grief of your loss. The Mother. My mother was never really much of one, and she is still quite alive. I am my own mother, just as I will assume you are your own father, so I believe i will never actually suffer that loss, but only time will tell. I am such a mother to everyone, constantly, at work at home, so the Mother is always with me. It's difficult enough to grieve over the death of the Father, but the Mother, well that just must be beyond devastating. Oh well, every act has good and evil results, even death. Continue leaning towards the light, glean the truth from the bones of your grief. I, for one, am more interested in these revelations than in any others. You are travelling the road that leads to library were all my favorite books are kept, pick one up off the shelf, read it to me.
Re: a comment on The last day of an old year by poetandknowit	23-Jan-03/4:11 PM
How bittersweet. Death is the seventh veil. We make so much up and add too much importance to it. The dead laugh at us, or so I've read. I'm so sorry I have to go, my son doesn't have a single pair of clean underwear and the washers on the blink. My father died 8 years ago, and i'm barely now able to approach him. He comes for tea, sleeps in my bed. He is a comfort and all the things he couldn't be while existing in this tragic realm. Talk with you later I hope. Kisses on your forehead.
Re: Library and Information Centre by Nicholas Jones	23-Jan-03/3:40 PM
You are oblivious despite yourself. Get more funding.
Re: Snowblind by horus8	23-Jan-03/3:36 PM
Get rid of 'with', change 'find' to 'finds' and then you have it. I feel this in my gut. 10.